The Corpse Vanishes and Vital Fluid Exchanging

We're back to our regular, boring, non-Twilight programming. Boo. But the big take-away is that it's 10:00 PM - do you know where your corpses are?

Host segments: toot/Tud/tut-triple threat; just want people to be silky-smooth; Elizabeth Bathory buzzkills; you juiced her, you bought her; are coffins built for comfort?; these glands are drastically under-used; the Hays code and Hirohito did this.