In this episode hosts Carmelita (Cat) Tiu and Irene Uy open up about the hard truths of friendships that end. From cultural differences and peer pressure to setting boundaries and recognizing when a relationship has run its course, they explore how to let go with integrity while staying true to yourself.

[00:00:00] Warm welcome & intention for the episode – Irene and Cat talk about showing up more authentically and personally.

[00:02:00] Irene’s wedding celebration in the Philippines sparks a reflection on adult friendships and how relationships evolve over time.

[00:03:00] Reconnecting with childhood friends and the unique purity of those bonds.

[00:05:00] Cultural differences in making friends—platonic friendships with men in the Philippines vs. assumptions in the U.S.

[00:09:00] Transactional relationships and learning when to step back, even with family.

[00:12:00] Trust, time, and deciding whether relationships are worth salvaging.

[00:14:00] Boundaries—what they mean, why they matter, and the discomfort of setting them for the first time.

[00:16:00] Respecting others’ boundaries with the same grace you’d want for yourself.

[00:17:00] Peer pressure—distinguishing between unhealthy pressure vs. loving nudges that help you grow.

[00:21:00] Recognizing who shows up for you in hard times, and who disappears when accountability is needed.

[00:23:00] Navigating lies, betrayals, and deciding when a friendship has reached its limit.

[00:27:00] The emotional weight of female friendships and learning not to carry others’ problems as your own.

[00:29:00] When “support” feels one-sided—friendships that resemble unpaid coaching sessions.

[00:33:00] Differentiating between those who are lost but trying vs. those who choose dishonesty or manipulation.

[00:36:00] Irene’s powerful reminder: you can be kind without being weak, and you can protect your integrity while still leading with compassion.

[00:38:00] Closing reflections—the most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself.

If this episode resonated with you, here are a few things to reflect on or try:

Reflect on your own friendships: Are they bringing you joy, growth, and peace—or are they draining and one-sided?

Practice setting boundaries, even if it feels messy at first.

Remember to prioritize the relationship you have with yourself above all else.

Help us grow the conversation:

👍 Follow the show

📝 Leave a review

📤 Share this episode with a parent or leader who’d appreciate a thoughtful take on modern role models

🤝 Connect With Us

Follow us on Instagram: @thecoachisinpodcast

Learn more or get in touch: www.thecoachisinpodcast.com

🎧 The Coach Is In – Honest conversations, practical tools, and fresh perspectives for parent leaders. Because balance might be a myth—but intention is everything.

In this thoughtful episode of The Coach Is In, Irene and Cat explore how we form our ideas of role models—what shapes them, how they evolve, and why it’s essential to remain mindful of who and what we admire. Through personal stories, parenting insights, and cultural commentary, they examine how values, struggle, and visibility intersect to influence both adults and the next generation.

⏱️ Content Highlights & Timestamps

00:00 – Welcome & Why This Conversation Matters

– Irene and Cat reconnect and frame the discussion around the importance of role models in leadership and parenting.

03:12 – Unintentional Role Models: Who Shapes Us Before We Know It

– Irene shares stories from her upbringing in a rural town and how books and biographies shaped her worldview.

– Notable mention: Sirin Phathanothai as a formative influence.

08:45 – The Power of Biographies & Exposure

– Cat reflects on how reading about ballerinas influenced her discipline and appreciation for hard work.

– Discussion on how interests shape identity, even when they differ.

12:30 – Struggle vs. Joy in Identity Formation

– Irene reflects on how Southeast Asian narratives often center on struggle and the shift toward valuing joy and lightness.

– Cat opens up about questioning if her lack of dramatic hardship invalidates her story.

18:01 – Money & Morals: A Complex Relationship

– Irene discusses Warren Buffett and how reading The Snowball helped her see that wealth and values don’t have to be at odds.

– Cat shares concerns about media narratives that portray wealth as inherently corrupting.

24:50 – Visibility Bias: Why Do We See Certain Leaders?

– A discussion on Musk, Trump, and how attention is given to controversial figures.

– The absence of quieter, values-driven leaders in the spotlight.

29:35 – Power, Integrity & Role Models in Parenting

– Cat highlights the importance of helping kids think critically about public figures.

– Strategies for media literacy and value alignment.

34:30 – Speaking Out vs. Staying Silent: What’s the Right Move?

– Irene challenges the idea that silence always equals complicity.

– Nuanced take on how and when to speak out, especially around power and vulnerability.

41:10 – Admiration Without Pedestals: Holding Leaders Accountable

– A powerful distinction between the person and the position they hold.

– Leaders can be flawed humans—and still be worth learning from, so long as we stay critical and connected.

📌 Calls to Action & Takeaways

If this episode resonated with you, here are a few things to reflect on or try:

Think about your current role models. Do they align with your values?

Talk to your kids about the media they consume—who they admire and why.

Share a biography that shaped you with someone younger (or ask them to share one with you).

When admiring a public figure, ask: "Do I admire their values—or just their visibility?"

Practice media literacy at home: Question what’s shown and what’s not.

Help us grow the conversation:

👍 Follow the show

📝 Leave a review

📤 Share this episode with a parent or leader who’d appreciate a thoughtful take on modern role models

🌐 Resources & Mentions

The Dragon's Pearl: https://amzn.to/3G6SPEp

The Snowball: Warren Buffet https://amzn.to/4nrNzMy

Rethinking Narcissism: https://amzn.to/4loaMgq

Perry Mason: https://amzn.to/4ljSFch

🤝 Connect With Us

Follow us on Instagram: @thecoachisinpodcast

Learn more or get in touch: www.thecoachisinpodcast.com

🎧 The Coach Is In – Honest...

In this heartfelt episode, Cat and Irene unpack what it really means to be "consistent" as parent leaders juggling work, family, and everything in between. They explore how flexibility, alignment with personal values, and redefining success can free us from guilt and pressure when life doesn’t follow the plan.

00:00 - Welcome Back + Real-Life Interruptions

Cat and Irene check in after a few weeks away, setting the stage for a conversation about the realities of showing up inconsistently.

03:50 - Redefining Performance and Consistency

Cat shares how her definition of consistency has evolved from rigid performance to values-based alignment.

08:22 - Life Gets in the Way (and That’s Okay)

Cat recounts a whirlwind of family events and how they shifted her focus, raising questions around guilt and presence.

13:05 - Values-Based Consistency vs. Habit Tracking

Discussion around showing up for your values rather than checking boxes. Consistency isn't frequency—it's alignment.

18:40 - The Generational Pressure on Modern Women

Irene reflects on the expectations placed on women to be high achievers while being primary caregivers.

21:58 - Embracing Flexibility Without Feeling Flaky

Why adaptability should be celebrated—not seen as failure—and how being flexible helps navigate real life.

28:45 - Every “No” is a “Yes” to Something Else

Cat shares a mindset shift that changed how she sees boundaries and declining commitments.

35:55 - Living for Yourself vs. Living for Others

A deep dive into how guilt and productivity are often tied to internalized expectations, especially from childhood.

42:30 - Celebrate the Comeback, Not the Absence

Why returning to something after a break is a success in itself—and how guilt often masks misaligned priorities.

47:50 - Gentle Parenting, Accountability & Boundaries

Cat discusses parenting from a millennial lens, balancing empathy and expectations with kids.

56:20 - Generational Shifts in Parenting and Self-Worth

Reflections on how modern parenting prioritizes connection while still holding space for structure and standards.

01:04:15 - Final Takeaway: Alignment > Frequency

Cat wraps with a powerful reminder: it’s not about how often you show up, but whether your actions align with who you want to be.

Reflect on where your guilt around inconsistency comes from—is it truly yours, or inherited expectations?

Reframe success from "how often" to "how aligned" you are with your values.

Celebrate flexibility as a strength, not a weakness.

Consider what you're saying yes to every time you say no.

Share this episode with a friend who might be stuck in the “I have to do it all” mindset.

🔗 Resources & Links

Follow us on Instagram: @thecoachisinpodcast

Learn more or get in touch: www.thecoachisinpodcast.com

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Thanks for listening to The Coach Is In. Remember: the coach is in, and this space is for you. 💛