To celebrate Halloween, BOMT visited Planet Vampire, a dead world with no life.

One theory behind this dead planet is that it was a planet of Vampires which only had vampires and no people. All the vampires did was attack and drink the blood of fellow vampires while defending themselves from other vampires by driving stakes through other vampires hearts.

That was it – drinking blood from one another and staking one another and it is rumoured that this carried on till the last vampire standing.

One fact that many overlook is Planet Vampire is surrounded by three suns and has 36 hours a day sunlight and zero hours night. Since vampires cannot exist during the day, there could never had been a planet inhabited by vampires.

The truth of planet Vampire is that the original name was “Planetis Vampireis” which means, in the dead tongue ofthe ancient civilization of “Wankatoope, “Dead shithole of a planet that no one live on because it is a shithole of a planet.”

The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee - the Podcast wanted to wish listeners a Happy Halloween in the tongue of thenative vampires of Planet Vampires but, since there wasn’t actually a vampire civilization and, therefore, a vampire language… we will instead wish you Happy Halloween in the language of neighbouring planet “Planet Confronted Arsehole: “Screw you and shove your Halloween up your $%^&*.”

The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee landed on planet A PLANET, a desperate planet where they just ran out of ideas and A PLANET was the best name they could come up with for their planet.

A PLANET was once the hive of wit and creativity in the galaxy, the centre of sophistication - now it reuses the same tire shite over and over.

The last original joke on the planet was written over 400 years ago and was repeated for the 400,000 time on the Funny Laughter Show – the latest comedy with a title that the greatest comedy minds on A Planet brainstormed for weeks.

Creativity and art have died such to the extent that the writers of this episode could only end this synopsis with “… And the Battery-Operated Magic Toupee left and went elsewhere. “This was the best ending they could come up with.

The battery-operated magic toupee landed on the planet Switcheroo, A planet where no one was happy or satisfied with the way they were and identified with things they weren’t.

No-one knew where they were going as south transitioned north and north transitioned east. Rich people identified as the common man while the working man transitioned to be rich. Women switched to men, Men swapped to women, dogs were cats and cats were dogs, hamsters transitioned to elephants and confused pachyderms painfully transitioned to hamsters and politicians stopped lying.

After vegetarians became meat eaters, minimalists crowded their houses with more crap than they could want and pacifists went on violent streaks of beating the shit out of people.

The Battery-Operated Magic Toupee transitioned to something normal and the Battery-Operated Magic Toupee – the podcast transitioned to a tasteful classy entertainment for the family.