ADHD & Autism Diagnosis in Women: Finding Your Tribe After a Late Neurodivergent Diagnosis, Advocating for Your Needs. (Includes 8-12 sec. short breaks)

Receiving a late diagnosis of ADHD or autism can be life-changing, confusing, and deeply emotional—especially for women who have spent decades masking their neurodivergence. In this episode of The Actualising Woman, Clare shares her personal journey after being diagnosed with ADHD in midlife and explores why finding the right support network is essential during the post-diagnosis identity shift. If you're a late-diagnosed neurodivergent woman navigating ADHD, ASD, or AuDHD, this conversation will help you understand how to identify safe and supportive people, how to talk about your diagnosis with family and friends, how to advocate for your needs and how to cope when some relationships fall away. Clare also shares powerful questions that can help reshape your inner circle as you begin your unmasking journey and learn to advocate for your needs. This episode offers guidance, validation, and encouragement for women rebuilding their identity, seeking community, and learning to thrive authentically after a neurodivergent diagnosis.

🌸 The Actualising Woman is an empowering space for late-diagnosed autistic (ASD) + ADHD women to navigate unmasking, rebuild identity, set healthy boundaries and learn self-acceptance and self-advocacy, through guidance, validation and encouragement 🌱
As a counselling psychotherapist, diagnosed at 58 with AuDHD, I share a raw, honest account of my own unmasking, autistic burnout and breakdown, and the rebuilding of a congruent identity, while planning a neurodivergent - friendly life abroad (France or Italy - I haven't decided yet!).
Inspired by Carl Rogers and his Theory of Actualisation, this channel blends lived experience with practical advice, validation, evidence-informed insights, actionable tools, and plenty of humour 😝🌱🌸

Contact: clare@theactualisingwoman.co.uk for requests, feedback, questions and stories for the show

AuDHD Women by Sarah Jones. Pg 57 - What you could say to someone, about your needs...

"I care about you and I really value our relationship. I also need time alone to reset, especially when I'm feeling overwhelmed. It doesn't mean anything is wrong. It just helps me come back more grounded and present. I appreciate your understanding".

REFERENCES:

Rudy Simone 2010 Aspergirls - Empowering Females with Asperger Syndrome

Neuro Nurture 2025 Unmasking Adult Autism - Embrace Your Autistic Identity, Overcome Executive Dysfunction and Empower Your Neurodivergent Self (Embracing Neurodiversity Series)

Sarah Jones 2025 AuDHD Women - Navigating Life After Late Discovery: A Compassionate Guide to Living with Autism and ADHD

☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

🎧Check Out!!...ADHD + ASD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling Psychotherapist (MBACP) podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!

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AUDHD MASKING + UNMASKING | PROs +CONs | Late Diagnosed | Authentic + Congruence Identity. My experiences so far!

In this deeply personal episode on AuDHD masking and unmasking, I explore the pros and cons of camouflaging as a late-diagnosed autistic + ADHD woman and what it truly means to rediscover your authentic, congruent identity after diagnosis.
If you’ve received a late Autism diagnosis, ADHD diagnosis, or identify as AuDHD and feel confused, grieving, angry, or unsure who you are beneath decades of people-pleasing, perfectionism, trauma responses, burnout, anxiety, or breakdown, this conversation is for you. I share my lived experience of masking, the mental and physical toll of long-term camouflaging, why unmasking can shift relationships (and sometimes lead to loss), and how to begin reclaiming your true self with self-compassion, nervous system awareness, and emotional safety.

🌸 This channel supports late-diagnosed neurodivergent women navigating identity shifts, self-acceptance, boundaries, CPTSD recovery, self-parenting, and authentic living post-diagnosis.
If you are questioning who you are when you stop managing how you’re perceived, and are ready to explore unmasking safely and intentionally, you are not alone here🌷Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷

Contact: clare@theactualisingwoman.co.uk for requests, feedback, questions and stories for the show

☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

🎧Check Out!!...ADHD + ASD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!

Support the show

PART 2. In this episode I'm outlining: 1. what actualisation means. 2. what it means to become a fully functioning person and 3. what does that mean for me in REAL terms? What changes do I need to make regarding self-development, what do I need more of, less of, to be able to live with psychological, financial and geographic FREEDOM?!

REFERENCE: Carl R Rogers ‘A Therapist’s View of Psychotherapy – On Becoming a Person', 1961 pg 191-192, pg 168-176

The Actualising Woman 🪴 is a raw, unfiltered diary of life after my late diagnosis of (Level 1) ASD & ADHD (AuDHD) and a mental breakdown at 58 🌸 I share my journey of living unmasked, rebuilding a congruent identity, and creating a life that truly fits ME, inspired by Carl Rogers’ Theory of Actualisation.
This channel is about growth, self-acceptance, and becoming a fully functioning, authentic, neurodivergent woman, and I hope my journey supports others walking a similar path 🌱

If YOU are navigating late-diagnosed ADHD, autism, or AuDHD 🌼, or rebuilding after a breakdown, you’ll find community, understanding and hope here 🌺Subscribe for unmasked chat about AuDHD, mental health and self-actualisation 🌷

Contact: clare@theactualisingwoman.co.uk for requests, feedback, questions and stories for the show

☕Girl needs COFFEE! Please donate ANY amount, so that I can do this full time?! Thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/theactualisingwoman

🎧Check Out!!... ADHD + ASD Sounds - Our Sound Podcast for ASD, ADHD & AuDHD-ers. For Regulation, Focus, Sleep + Study. Available on Apple & Amazon Music

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/adhd-+-asd-sounds/id1791537814

Clare Llewellyn-Bailey: Counselling psychotherapist, podcaster, empty-nester, and AuDHD-er!!

Support the show