Tessa White : Oklahoma City Pride, navigating identity in hostile environments, & veteran visibility

On this episode, Caroline and Jordan have the pleasure of meeting Tessa White, a retired detective sergeant, Marine Corps veteran, and fierce LGBTQ+ rights advocate whose journey spans decades of service, transformation, and community leadership. Tessa shares stories from her upbringing in Philadelphia, her time in the military and law enforcement, and the pivotal moment when she began transitioning in 2015. With humor, heart, and unflinching honesty, she reflects on navigating gender dysphoria, family estrangement, and ultimately finding solidarity and love within Oklahoma City’s queer community.

Throughout the conversation, Tessa, Caroline, and Jordan dive into complex and often under-discussed dynamics within the transgender community—such as the pressures of “passing,” internal gatekeeping, and navigating identity in hostile environments. Together, they also reflect on deeply personal moments of growth and resistance, from confronting transphobia in public to reclaiming womanhood through community celebration. Tessa shares her experiences leading Oklahoma City Pride, where she’s used both visibility and behind-the-scenes advocacy to fight anti-LGBTQ+ legislation and create spaces of joy and resilience—even in the face of rising drag bans and political backlash.

The episode also explores the power of social media in building queer solidarity, with Tessa recounting her viral TikTok moments and emphasizing the importance of storytelling over statistics in shifting public opinion. Caroline, Jordan, and Tessa agree: living visibly, organizing across difference, and showing up with vulnerability are revolutionary acts. Whether organizing Pride events, dancing at the club, or testifying at the state capitol, Tessa’s message is clear—trans people belong everywhere, and their stories have the power to move hearts, change laws, and unite communities.

“Tessa White is a Marine Corps veteran, a retired detective sergeant from the Seacoast region of New Hampshire, and a bold, outspoken advocate for LGBTQ+ rights. After transitioning a decade ago upon returning to her birthplace of Oklahoma, Tessa immersed herself in queer activism, serving on multiple nonprofit boards and becoming a visible force for human rights in a deeply conservative state. Now in her fifth year as President of Oklahoma City Pride, Tessa leads with fierce compassion and community vision. She is also the owner and contractor of TwinStar HVAC Inc., a proud mother to two sets of twins, and someone whose life is grounded in love, justice, and the power of living authentically. Tessa is unafraid to speak truth to power—especially in confronting the cruelty of far-right policies targeting the trans community—and she’s recently experienced the wild ride of going viral on TikTok.“

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“Make it real to me” written by Athena Promachus, covered by Boy Bowser

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