TRYING IS BETTER THAN NOT TRYING AT ALL…

This week, I want to talk about why trying and losing is better than not trying at all. This is a very important principle to drill into children from an early age.

As we used to say to our kids when they were growing up: “If you try something, you may fail or succeed, but if you don't even try, you will definitely fail!" If you try something, your dream stays intact so, even if you fall short, you can still tell yourself you nailed it.

But the moment you do something and lose, that story goes, and that hurts; really hurts. It’s not the failure that stings; it's the exposure to other people, as you then let people see what you really wanted, revealed your hand, and showed something didn’t work out. You then think safe would have been better.

It's no wonder we therefore often talk ourselves out of trying things for fear of failure and exposure like this. But that logic ultimately betrays us, as short-term sting of losing fades, but the long-term ache of knowing you never even tried lingers.

Here are some examples:

- A parent accepts a school or Local Authority decision they think is wrong, fearing the cost of losing against an insurmountable opponent, and particularly in the school situation, feeling that losing in front of other parents or staff feels too exposing. But, ultimately, it is their child who loses out.

- Someone doesn’t apply for a promotion at work because they realise that their colleagues will know if they fail. Although that person tells themselves that they will go for the next opportunity, they don't.

- A business idea sits in somebody's notebook for a few years because, after one rejected pitch, the owner realises that humiliation isn’t worth it; so their idea just dies quietly.

However, you must realise that not every battle is worth fighting, so choose your battles and sit one out sometimes. It’s important to know, though, that you made a genuine, considered and wise choice, rather than just one made out of fear, dressed up as common sense.

So, this week, remember that the sting of losing fades faster than you think. However, the quiet regret of never trying lingers on for years to come. Remember that trying is better than not trying at all!