In this week’s episode, I have a conversation with Mary, mother of a newly diagnosed little boy: Campbell was diagnosed about 6 months ago at two and a half.

Mary and her husband are getting the hang of diabetes but it’s been such a big learning curve that they’re thinking of postponing sending Campbell to preschool in the fall: Mary just can’t picture how a school transition would go. The thought of entrusting her son’s care to someone else is understandably daunting. As we talk, we realize together that Mary’s also hesitant to send Campbell because she’s not sure how to ask the school for the help that her family needs to manage type 1. Ultimately, she doesn’t want to burden others with the complexities of managing his diabetes and learning the ins-and-outs of the disease.

Together, we delve into her worries and explore the emotional landscape of becoming a T1D advocate for our kids. We discuss the vital importance of self-advocacy, not just to ensure that our kids receive the best possible care and support, but also because it’s critical for us to model for them how they can ask for the help they need — today and in their future. We also look at how this kind of advocacy helps create a safety net for our kids.

I share several strategies to help Mary feel more comfortable both advocating and leaving her son at preschool: We talk about the small steps she can take to practice, mostly by starting to advocate with family members, creating a step-by-step map for starting to leave Campbell with those people who already love him. We also look at ways to think about advocating at the school by her first getting super clear about what kind of support she wants Campbell to have.

Listen to hear more about:

• the reasons you might consider transitioning to a pump, even when shots are working
• the mistakes school care providers might make in management — and how to think about that
• an upcoming workshop that will help you build a better relationship with your child’s care team at school

In today’s episode, I talk with Tiffany, a mother whose 9-year-old daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes only a few months ago. Tiffany opened with her primary concern: the limitations her daughter might face in the future. Even though she couldn’t picture exactly what those limitations would be she fears diabetes will hold her daughter back.

Tiffany’s worries are a mirror of what so many T1D parents feel—we worry about the hurdles our kids are going to face. It’s easy to get caught up in the “what ifs” and overlook the “right nows.” So I brought Tiffany into the present, looking at the ways her daughter might have felt limited since her diagnosis and how Tiffany can respond to that.

Validation became the keyword of the discussion. I emphasized the importance of acknowledging the frustrations and limitations her daughter is currently facing — in the example Tiffany gave, it was about sitting out from PE, something we’re all familiar with. I work through a powerful validation tool with Tiffany that she’ll be able to use again and again as she parents diabetes, one that will keep her closer to her daughter’s experience, with the hope that that will help her daughter make a smoother adjustment to a life with type 1. It’s not foolproof, but it’s a way for our kids to understand that we’re alongside them.

Listen to hear more about:

• The nitty gritty of how to construct a strong validation of our kid’s experience
• Thoughts on how to stay close to our kids as they grow their diabetes responsibilities so we’re attuned to what they actually can manage.
• A discussion on the thin line between fostering independence and the risk of “diabetes burnout.”
• How powerful it is for a parent to be together with their child on their diabetes journey

Hope you enjoy!

In today’s latest episode, I answer a listener question that will resonate with most parents of T1D kids: the emotional and practical considerations of testing siblings for diabetes markers.

The decision to test siblings for diabetes markers is one that many families, including my own, approach with trepidation. The anxiety surrounding this decision is understandable. No parent wants to even begin to imagine another child facing the same challenges as their type 1. And so the question becomes: to test or not to test? Do I want to know? Should I want to know? Does knowing help? Or will I just feel more overwhelmed?

The discussion strikes a balance between the idea that knowing if a diagnosis is coming can be powerful — we can plan, and prepare, and possibly even help delay onset with new drugs like tZield. But we also need to be gentle with ourselves, choosing testing only when we feel ready to tolerate what the testing uncovers. I also tackle how we might have to protect our children from the enormity of that information, holding it lightly for their sakes, even as we prepare for the worst.

Of course, this decision remains a deeply personal one for each family. In this episode, I provide information, empathy, and understanding to help parents make the best choice for their children and their family’s overall well-being. Hopefully, listening will offer some perspective that will help ease the your burden of deciding.