Today on the show: Matthew Brennan won a donkey, Van Der Poel might be cursed and the French have their confirmed next Tour de France champion. Let's get to it.

Today on the show: Wout is out (again), but Opening Weekend is in, and Geraint Thomas may be the politest man in the whole world, if that wasn’t obvious already.

Today on the show: Isaac Del Toro accomplished quite the Jebel Hafeet, Juan Ayuso has arrived, and we have clarification on the 2028 World Championships, thank goodness for that.

Today on the show: Jan Christen is not the anti-Christ, a chumma chuggum update, and everyone needs to leave Remco alone.

Today on the show: The Del Toro v Cheese Ball rivalry we didn’t know we needed, a crash for Jonathan Milan, and there’s weather on the continent.

Today on the show: Paris-Roubaix has a new name, Jonas Vingegaard has a new coach, and we all have new confirmation that Jim Ratcliffe is the worst.

Today on the show: A Lance Armstrong movie, Evenepoel on a rampage, and Bernal earns his black shorts.

Today on the show: A detente in the Hundred Smears War, a small problem for Andrea Piccolo, and some unfortunate news for the spring Classics.

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