Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

ADHD and kink might seem like an unexpected pairing, but for a lot of people, they go hand in hand. From rituals that help with focus to play that taps into the need for stimulation, BDSM can be more than just fun — it can be a real tool for regulation and connection.

In this episode, host Cate Osborn chats with author and forensic sexologist Stefani Goerlich about how BDSM can actually support ADHD brains by offering structure, sensory input, and clear communication.

Related resources

• Stefani’s website, stefanigeorlich.com
• Stefani’s books

Timestamps

(02:46) The broad umbrella of ‘kink’

(04:16) Focusing on BDSM in particular, and breaking down the acronym

(08:38) Kink is always relational, only sometimes sexual

(09:48) Why might someone gravitate towards kink/BDSM?

(12:30) Common kink myths

(15:44) Power exchange, and consent as foreplay

(16:32) The benefits of BDSM/kink

(18:24) How kink can help with claiming agency

(21:10) How negotiated arrangements can take some of the strain off executive function challenges

(23:39) What to do when one partner is kinky, and one is not so much

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org.

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

In theory, online dating can feel like an easy, low-stakes solution to meeting people. But in practice, there are a few pitfalls that many fall into. With ADHD, dating apps can pose even more challenges and be an additional drag on your attention.

Clinical Psychologist Dr. Shauna Pollard visits the show to talk about what she’s noticed while working with ADHDers on online dating. Join this conversation on the dopamine chase that can happen while using dating apps, and setting boundaries with yourself.

Related resources

• Dr. Pollard’s website
• A dating coach talks ADHD and super-connecting
• ADHD and emotions

Timestamps

(01:58) ADHD and online dating challenges

(09:17) Hyperfocusing on dating, and how to slow down

(11:41) “Marketing yourself” on online dating, and how to show the whole picture of who you are

(14:01) Figure out your “filter” for online matches, and include offline dating in addition to online

(17:03) Snap judgements, biases, and discrimination

(19:02) Feeling overwhelmed? Do what feels best for you

(20:02) ADHD disclosure on dating profiles

(22:42) Best practices for ADHDers to build meaningful relationships

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.org.

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Join health and science journalist Danielle Elliot as she investigates the rise of women recently diagnosed with ADHD. Listen to Climbing the Walls now.

Are ADHD and cheating related? What about weaponized incompetence and ADHD? These are a few questions that surround the ADHD community.

Producer Margie visits the podcast for another round of ‘Reddit reactions’ with more posts from the ADHD women subreddit. Listen for host Cate Osborn’s reactions on a few different scenarios related to cheating and weaponized incompetence.

Related resources

• The National Domestic Violence Hotline
• The ADHD Women subreddit
• ADHD support for Women by Understood.org’s Facebook group

Timestamps

(02:00) Post #1 “ADHD and cheating/Adrenaline and dopamine”

(09:24) Post #2 “Narcissist cheater and ADHD”

(15:30) Post #3 “Does anyone else sometimes identify with those ‘weaponized incompetence’ guys you hear about?”

(21:22) Post #4 “I’m so tired of trying to compensate for myself AND my partner”

(27:51) ADHD can be challenging, and you’re not alone

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give