Sir Gareth Southgate: There were days I didn’t want to get out from under the duvet
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From missing the most famous penalty in English football to leading the national team into a new era, Gareth Southgate’s story is one of quiet resilience, modern leadership and emotional intelligence forged under relentless public pressure.
In this episode of Full Disclosure, James O’Brien sits down with Gareth to trace the long road that shaped him. From being an introverted, late-developing youngster released by Southampton, to captaining Crystal Palace, enduring searing public failure, and eventually becoming England manager. They talk candidly about masculinity in football, learning to lead without bluster, and why authenticity matters more than authority.
Southgate reflects on the moments that changed him most. The heartbreak of rejection, the pressure of managing people older and wealthier than him, the lessons drawn from defeat, and the responsibility of becoming a role model far beyond the pitch. He explains how England became a mirror for modern Britain, why he wrote Dear England, and what leadership really looks like when things go wrong.
Thoughtful, honest and quietly powerful, this conversation goes well beyond football. It is about growth, failure, emotional courage and the belief that leadership is something you learn, not something you pretend to be.
Find out more about Dear England: Lessons in Leadership by Gareth Southgate here