In episode 9 of season Ohio Chris wants a woman who does Pilates, Alex still can't get over the water bottles, and Brittany just wants her fiancé to tell her she's pretty. Ohio men, WHO HURT YOU???

In episode 8 of season Ohio Alex has no idea how periods work, realistically. Mike's mom, Patty, lets Emma know how unacceptable it is to call it sauce when EVERYONE KNOWS IT'S GRAVY and also WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T WANT CHILDREN? Bri is still not over Conner's Christmas tree. And Chris is suddenly unattracted to Jess when he learns she doesn't need his money.

In episode 7 of season Ohio Devonta continues to be a sleepy sack of useless (Christ-like) man-meat, Chris probably has dead bodies buried under the stairs LOL, the only thing sweeter than Christine and Vic is Christine's mom, Melody, and Alex gets fisted with no lube over Eggs Benedict by Papa Paul.

On episode six of season Ohio the couples (sans Christine and Vic) meet at the all-skate. Bri doesn't understand why everyone is just ripping shots, Devonta doesn't want a hickey, and Alex gets worse and worse every time he's on screen. Also, Chelsea is NOT there.

The couples finish up whatever (gestures wildly) THIS IS...and head to Mexico ..eh eh eh eh not so fast Vic and Chrstine get to go to the La Quinta Inn and Suites and the couples start to see they shouldn't be coupled at all....

In episode four, Kevan may be the most delusional contestant so far. Something is… wrong with the man. Some other couples get engaged, and there are some awkward tunnel of love. Also, Ellyn and Daisy don some interesting accessories.

On today's episode, everyone is fully medicated. We get 2 -- 3? -- cold opens because Ellyn is thirsty. Ellyn calls 2 gays and a Thermos. Daisy calls Kurt... and Monty. Abort mission! Act normal, not horny! Oh right, we're supposed to be talking about Love is Blind. Blahzayblah... Some couples get engaged. Ladies wear questionable shoes. But most importantly: THESE MEN ARE THE WOOOOORSSSSSST! We are all gravely concerned for the women of Ohio if this is the best Netflix could find. How was Chris even able to reach high enough to get that much audacity off the shelf? And who the fuck does Alex think he is? Daisy is going to write a strongly worded letter to Mr. Netflix, and Ellyn is going to submit an expense report to GBC for her anxiety meds.