Saying Goodbye - After a Long Term Illness

The diagnosis redraws the map of a family’s life, and suddenly everyone is living in two worlds: the one they knew and the one they never asked for. We dive into anticipatory grief—the real grief that begins long before a death—unpacking how it changes routines, identities, and relationships. From the “before and after” moment to the long grind of treatments, we name the hidden costs of caregiving, the overwhelm of new medical language, and the relentless fatigue that makes even simple decisions feel heavy.

Together with Erin Nelson and Colleen Montague from Jessica’s House, we get practical about what helps. We explore the myth that more time makes you ready, and why relief, guilt, and anger can sit side by side after a long illness. You’ll hear clear, compassionate scripts for talking with kids about death and illness, ways to validate their feelings without shutting them down, and simple phrases that help them discover they did nothing wrong. We also share strategies for reframing hard rooms and images, using photos, stories, and rituals to separate the person you love from the illness that changed everything.

If medical settings now trigger fear, we offer concrete steps for preparing children—alerting providers, involving child life specialists, and using kid-friendly videos to demystify procedures. We talk about choosing quality of life, explaining treatment decisions in age-appropriate ways, and inviting your community into the messy middle without shame. Through it all, we focus on authenticity, presence, and the belief that kids are natural mourners when given empathy and permission.

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For more information on Jessica’s House or for additional resources, please go to jessicashouse.org