SAMUEL: "The Messiah" and the golden hemorrhoid rats

We're entering a whole new chunk of the Bible, and it might be a surprise chunk!

• Why we're now in Samuel instead of Ruth, the book that's up next according to Christian Bibles! 
• Yet another barren womb! As always, when the Bible reuses a story, the variations are everything! 
• The Bible's first usage of "the messiah" is a fine time to talk about how poorly the average Christian understands the old, complex, ever-evolving concept! 
• Meet the original Typical Preacher's Kids! 
• A war catastrophe leads to the Philistines capturing the Ark of the Covenant, which goes very terribly for the Philistines' genitals! 

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