S25E32 When Helping Others Actually Holds Them Back

We don’t mean to get in the way—but often, our “help” holds others back. This week, Sahar explores how inherited family roles and loving intentions can block growth, erode self-esteem, and delay individuation. It’s time to update the story and let others grow.

Do you find yourself trying to protect or guide your younger loved ones—only to end up arguing, resented, or feeling helpless? I’m asking a hard question: are we supporting growth—or replaying old patterns we inherited?

As part of this year’s theme The Power of Your Story, we explore how family roles, cultural expectations, and loving intentions can unintentionally rob the younger generation of the chance to grow. Whether it’s our children, nieces, nephews, or students, many of us unconsciously play the rescuer, the fixer, or the “one who knows”—because that’s what we were taught love looks like. But when we impose our ways, what we’re really saying is: “You’re not capable.” And that erodes confidence before it can even grow.

I’ll share a real story about my niece—how I learned to snap out of the mentor-on-demand role, after she casually said “Write a book!” (And I did!). We’ll explore how BEMA™ helps us pause, reassess, and shift—especially when we’re emotionally invested. Because the more emotionally entangled we are, the harder it is to stay objective. And without objectivity, we react instead of respond.

This episode will help you:

• recognise the stories you’ve inherited around helping and control
• stop mistaking love for interference
• allow others to find their way—even if it’s different from yours
• learn how flexibility is strength, not passivity

Generations evolve for a reason. We are not raising replicas. They are here for a different cycle. Supporting their growth means allowing their difference. It’s not about walking away. It’s about walking beside and to subtly guide. That’s how we evolve.

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Rewrite your story. Reclaim your power.