S2 Ep4: The shock of motherhood in a patriarchy, with Mary Catherine Starr

“I think about and write about this all the time, and yet I still think there’s something wrong with me that it’s so hard for me. It’s so hard to separate what we’ve been told…from the truth, which is that it’s not us.” — Mary Catherine Starr

Patriarchy tells everyone motherhood is easy, and demands that mothers perform ease. The pressure to do this conceals the realities of motherhood, convincing us that the highly political challenges of motherhood are personal, individual failings. As a result, we spend our lives on a hamster wheel making lists, going to therapy, and trying to do better rather than demanding better from an oppressive society.

Every woman thinks she’s the only one, but she is not. Because this is not personal; it’s political.

Mary Catherine isn’t just a force of nature; she’s also my childhood friend. So we talk about how our careers have unfolded, too, including dealing with incels and angry readers.

About Mary Catherine Starr

Mary Catherine Starr is a mother-of-two and a graphic designer, illustrator, yoga teacher, and the artist behind the Instagram account @momlife_comics. Mary Catherine's work focuses on the challenges of marriage, motherhood, double standards, and inequality in both the household and the workplace. She is passionate about speaking up for women and bringing awareness to the mental load + invisible labor of motherhood. Mary Catherine lives in Massachusetts with her family and her son’s large collection of plastic dinosaurs. Her first book, a comic memoir entitled Mama Needs a Minute!, will be out on March 11th, 2025.

You can follow Mary Catherine’s comic strip here.

Buy her amazing book here.

Follow Mary Catherine on Substack here.

Visit her website here.