Today we learned that kids can’t read analogue clocks anymore – one poor student even thought 9:58 was “9:8.” Then in a police interrogation, a suspect accidentally let one rip right as he was being charged… earning Priyanka Chopra’s old nickname “Farty Chopra” a comeback. Over in the Glossys: Jimmy Kimmel’s suspension has Colbert, Letterman and Fallon all up in arms, Reese Witherspoon does a killer Nicole Kidman impression, and Cardi B’s flogging CDs from a car boot with Gayle King. Oh, and Snoop Dogg says Stevie Wonder is the only artist he’d ever need, while Benson Boone’s cameraman got arrested for literally taking the piss in a Florida shop.

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Glossys time! Taylor Swift is rumoured to be dropping a secret movie next month to go with her brand-new album. Meanwhile, Hollywood is buzzing—Jimmy Kimmel’s suspension has other late-night hosts like Letterman, Colbert and Fallon weighing in on censorship. Reese Witherspoon’s gone full Nicole Kidman in a spot-on impression, and Cardi B’s flogging CDs from the boot of a car with Gayle King riding shotgun.

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A teacher put his students to the test—read an analogue clock in three seconds for bonus marks. The result? Chaos. Half the class guessed wrong, mixing up the hands, shouting times like “10:5” and “9:8.” The clip’s gone viral and now everyone’s arguing: is telling time on an old-school clock becoming a lost skill in the TikTok age?

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