What do diamonds, pearls, and gold have in common? They must all endure pressure and irritants to produce what is precious. The truth is that in marriage and in life, we most often grow through our pain and our trials, not our successes. The pressure is meant to forge a greater purpose in you. When you trust the process, you realize it is producing in you something that far outweighs anything you can imagine.

This episode is for anyone who has ever felt like God has abandoned you or left you in your pain too long. It's also deeply encouraging for marriages and will help you to see beyond your problems and reframe your pain.

If you’re feeling tension, loneliness, or just wondering why marriage has to be so hard, allow this episode to lift you. Learn how to trust the process God is working in your life and how to discover the greater purpose behind your pain. Plus, I share encouragement from Scripture, practical ways to shift your perspective, and why surrender is the key to breakthrough.

Key Takeaways:

1. Pressure reveals our hidden potential.
2. Process is what helps us to learn how to trust what we can't always see
3. Purpose makes it all worth it

Follow Dana Che on the socials!

Instagram

Facebook

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

From unmet expectations to trust issues and loneliness in marriage, this episode exposes eight conversations you're likely avoiding in your marriage and how it's causing the disconnection gap to widen. I open up with a personal story about my own struggles with fear and avoidance (including a wild trip to the urgent care!), and how these emotions often hold us back from tackling topics that really matter.

The Conversations You're Likely Avoiding in Your Marriage:

1. Unmet Expectations: Many couples never openly discuss what they thought marriage would look like—and how reality has shifted those expectations.

2. Resentment: Sometimes prayer isn’t enough if you’re still nursing bitterness, unforgiveness, or past hurts. You can’t heal what you refuse to acknowledge.

3. Boundaries: Every relationship needs boundaries—even healthy ones. Yet many avoid discussing what’s acceptable, what’s not, and where limits should be set.

4. Disappointments: Small disappointments can quietly unravel intimacy if left unspoken. Instead of confronting them, we let them fester.

5. Loneliness in Marriage: There’s no lonelier place than a disconnected marriage, but admitting this vulnerability is often avoided.

6. Trust Issues: Especially after betrayal or big mistakes, couples might choose not to re-visit trust conversations for fear of reopening wounds or “rocking the boat.”

7. Conversations About the Future: Many avoid talking about end-of-life issues, financial planning, retirement, and other future-focused topics.

8. Celebrating Wins: Sometimes, couples even avoid sharing their successes if there’s secret competition or fear of triggering jealousy.

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

Get my FREE Conversation Starters for Couples in Conflict

Get your FREE 5-Day Tried and True Devotional in anticipation of my new book release!

Other helpful Rebuilding Us podcast episodes:

5 Boundaries Every Marriage Needs

How to Approach Difficult Conversations with Confidence

When Marriage is Harder than You Ever Expected

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.

If you’ve found yourself disappointed, grieving unmet expectations, or questioning whether your relationship is supposed to feel this tough, you're not alone. It's a struggle that many couples face but rarely talk about openly—what to do when marriage is much harder than you ever expected.

Plenty of couples walk down the aisle brimming with hope and expectation. After all, we’re conditioned to, right? The advice pours in from all sides before the big day: “Marriage takes work!” “There will be hard times!” But few truly believe the hard times will come for them. Most of us believe we’re the exceptions.

But disappointment is “part of the package” of marriage. It’s not pessimism—it’s reality. So, what DO you do with disappointment? Pretending everything is fine isn’t the answer. Nor is simply waiting for time to heal all wounds. Deliberate action is required to address and heal those emotional wounds.

Key Takeaways:

1. Expect Drifting—and Intentionally Fight It
2. Don’t Lower Your Expectations. Negotiate Them.
3. When You Marry the “Wrong Person” (Or So You Think)
4. Pressure Reveals, It Doesn’t Destroy

Resources Mentioned in this Episode:

My new book, Tried and True, releases in January 2026! Learn more at danache.com/triedandtrue.

For those who want to go deeper, get the free 5-day devotional companion to Tried and True, designed to help struggling couples reflect and reconnect.

Follow Dana Che on the socials!

Instagram

Facebook

YouTube

Like the show? Be sure to SUBSCRIBE/FOLLOW the podcast! Then, give it a ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ rating and leave a great review!

Support the show: https://danache.com/donations/support-the-show/

Discover more Christian podcasts at lifeaudio.com and inquire about advertising opportunities at lifeaudio.com/contact-us.