Re-Air: Ep. 64 - My Childhood Sexual Abuse

I was sexually abused as a child and it still impacts me at almost 60 years old. It took me a long time to be able to tell this story and to look back at the psychological impact that these terrible experiences had on me. It was a confusing time where I lost so much of myself, but telling this story has been cathartic. If you need help there are resources below.

Key Takeaways:

[2:45] My mom was a stay at home mother and my dad worked a lot

[4:20] First instance of sexual abuse

[6:46] It happening again and feeling terrible for not saying anything

[9:40] First physical incident and the fear it created in me

[14:28] Being abused constantly in 5th grade

[18:04] Setting fire to my clothing

[19:07] My social life began to tank in 5th grade

[21:30] Being aware of my sexuality

[23:35] Being abused again, but having a better understanding

[25:07] Going to the ER for asthma and feeling safe in the hospital

[26:32] Being abused in 6th grade and hypervigilance

[28:59] Having to get my siblings ready in the morning

[31:08] Beginning to understand the full scope of sexual abuse

[33:16] The last abuse attempt and telling my mom

[35:23] Looking back on the psychological changes in me

[37:41] Family history of abuse and generational trauma

[39:41] Struggling with sleeping with a lot of people in my early twenties

[42:54] Isolating myself, depression, and exhaustion

[45:14] Reexperiencing trauma and hypervigilance

[47:14] Parental support helped save me

[47:44] My response to sexual abuse

[50:41] How being abused affected my parenting

[52:33] Getting very sick in the hospital and not eating

[53:59] The good and the bad in my life

[56:18] Releasing these words is cathartic to me

[57:14] Victims are not at fault for being assaulted

[57:39] Losing parts of myself, but continuing to push forward

Resources:

• Twister Movie

• National Sexual Abuse Hotline

• National Domestic Abuse Hotline

• Helping Survivors

Connect with Barb:

Website

Facebook

Instagram

Be a guest on the podcast

YouTube

The Molly B Foundation