A few days ago, I was interviewed for NPR’s Here & Now, and the host asked me about my “aging journey.” I felt a little flustered—not because it was a bad question, but because I’m 50. And when people ask me about aging, my mind goes straight to older adulthood: 65, 75, 85, 95 and beyond. So my answer didn’t land the way I wanted it to. I left the interview thinking, I wish I’d said that differently.

What I wish I’d said in the moment is this: when I talk about aging, I’m usually talking about older adulthood—the stretch of life that can span decades, roughly from 65 to 122. It’s not a single moment or an identity you suddenly “become.” It’s a long, dynamic developmental chapter, with real change, real challenge, and real growth over time.

And honestly, at 50, I don’t feel like I’ve lived enough of older adulthood to speak from deep personal experience about what it’s like. What I do know—because for the past 25 years I’ve been a geropsychologist to more than 1,000 older adults and their families—is this: when we’re in midlife and we imagine our older selves, we have to watch for the way fear can sneak in and write the story for us—because that fear can sell our future selves short, and it can miss the resilience, adaptability, and grace that so often grow with age.

The biggest thing I see middle-aged people get wrong

In midlife, we often project our fear and dread about aging onto older adulthood. We imagine later life through the lens of what scares us now—physical vulnerability, chronic illness, loss, dependence, mortality.

But what we often miss is this: many older adults become remarkably skilled at adapting. They grow in resilience, self-compassion, and wisdom about what matters. That doesn’t erase real challenges, but it does change how we navigate those challenges.

Here's an example: AARP did a large aging survey of more than 2000 people and found that fear of death generally decreases with age. In other words, what feels terrifying in midlife may not feel the same once you actually arrive in later life.

Key Takeaways

• Aging happens across the lifespan; older adulthood is its own developmental period.
• Midlife fears can distort how we imagine later life.
• Older adults frequently develop stronger adaptation skills over time.
• Avoid overlooking older adults’ resilience by assuming your dread is their reality.

My invitation for you this week

If you’re in midlife, notice when you’re imagining older adulthood through your current fears. And if you’re a clinician, caregiver, or family member, practice holding this wider frame: Yes, aging can bring physical vulnerability. And it can also bring increased adaptability, clarity, and grace.

Timestamps / Chapters

00:00 — The NPR question that threw me off
01:00 — Two meanings of “aging” (lifespan vs. older adulthood)
02:10 — The midlife projection trap
02:30 – A research example: fear of death tends to decrease with age
03:10 – What we miss: adaptation, resilience, self-compassion
04:10 – Why Regina cringes at the midlife “aging journey” question
04:45 – This week’s tip: don’t project your stage onto theirs
05:05 – Closing and what’s coming next

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Attention Social Workers, Therapists, Counselors, Psychologists, Aging Life Care Experts... Click here to get Continuing Education Credits

When someone is living with both dementia and PTSD, their needs are complex—but support is still possible, and it can make a world of difference.

In this episode, I share what I’ve learned as a geropsychologist working with veterans and older adults navigating both cognitive impairment and trauma. You’ll discover:

• When trauma therapy can still be effective in the early stages of dementia.
• How dementia progression changes what’s possible for PTSD treatment.
• The importance of identifying and minimizing unique trauma triggers.
• Practical strategies to reduce distress at home or in memory care.
• Why moving someone because they’re “too difficult” can do more harm than good—and how to respond instead.

You’ll also hear real stories from my clinical work and gain trauma-informed approaches you can start using right away to improve quality of life for people living with dementia and PTSD.

If you’ve ever wondered how to balance mental health care with dementia care, this conversation will give you the clarity, compassion, and tools you need.

Click here to link to show notes and resources

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PROFESSIONALS: Grab your free guide to working with older adults here


Attention Social Workers, Therapists, Counselors, Psychologists, Aging Life Care Experts... Click here to get Continuing Education Credits

Can Unresolved Trauma Increase Dementia Risk?

Trauma doesn’t just leave emotional scars—it can change the brain. And when post-traumatic stress goes untreated, the risk for dementia later in life rises.

In this episode of my mental health and dementia series, I explore how trauma and PTSD intersect with brain health. Drawing from decades of research and my years working with older veterans, I break down why unresolved trauma increases vulnerability to dementia disorders and what clinicians can do to help.

This conversation isn’t just about understanding risk—it’s about hope. Trauma treatment works at any age, and healing now doesn’t only restore quality of life today, it also protects the brain for tomorrow.

3 Key Takeaways from This Episode

1⃣ Trauma raises dementia risk.
Landmark studies show veterans with PTSD have double the risk of dementia, and depression or anxiety tied to trauma can increase dementia risk even decades later.

2⃣ The body keeps the score.
Trauma heightens cortisol and inflammation, which damage the heart and brain. What’s bad for the heart is bad for the brain.

3⃣ Treatment protects the brain.
Trauma therapy in older adulthood restores quality of life now and strengthens brain health and autonomy for the future.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• Why PTSD symptoms often reemerge in older adulthood, especially after retirement, health changes, or loss.
• The science behind how trauma affects brain physiology—cortisol, inflammation, and cardiovascular health—and why that matters for dementia risk.
• Landmark studies linking PTSD, depression, anxiety, and racism-related stress to dementia.
• Why trauma often goes undetected in older adults—and how ageism can stop clinicians from asking the right questions.
• Five trauma-informed strategies to support older adults, reduce suffering now, and protect brain health for the future.

Click here to see the show notes and get all resources mentioned in this episode.

Download your free Trauma Informed Care Guide here

Have a topic idea? Send us a text.

PROFESSIONALS: Grab your free guide to working with older adults here


Attention Social Workers, Therapists, Counselors, Psychologists, Aging Life Care Experts... Click here to get Continuing Education Credits