"I was quite protective of the parent reader while I was editing this. I feel that so many of the books out there on the shelf have a real kind of finger wagging quality to parents. They kind of tell parents what to do, what not to do, mostly what they're doing wrong. I felt like I wanted to create a resource that empathized with the parents' position, and that protected them, because this is literally the hardest thing in the world. So the protectiveness felt important to me, and it was one of the things that was really quite important that we always held the parent in mind, which is why every letter starts with ‘Dear Parent’.”

Episode Description: We begin with acknowledging the 'profound ordinariness' of the parenting experiences that these thirty-nine psychoanalysts share with the reader. They openly reveal their vulnerabilities, childishness, ambivalences and sorrows. They also share their delights, pleasures and feelings of accomplishment. The letters that we read include those on parental protectionism, feelings of being excluded, rivalries and erotic feelings. All the contributors acknowledge the presence of their pasts in their parenting present. Andy speaks of her journey as a mother and how vital her finding psychoanalysis was for both her and her family. She concludes the book "I hope that you close this book with a deep sense of respect for yourself, a healthy curiosity and a few more questions than answers."

Our Guest: Andy Cohen is a psychoanalyst with the South African Psychoanalytical Association (SAPA). Her TEDx Talk, "A Mom Can’t Always Act Like a Grown-Up – Here’s Why", explores the unconscious forces between mother and child. She holds an MA Fine Art and has worked as an Art Counsellor using psychodynamic art-based interventions in at-risk communities. She currently lives and works in Johannesburg, South Africa.

Recommended Readings:

• TED Talk by Andy Cohen: “A mom can’t always act like a grown up - here’s why”

• When Mothers Talk - Magical Moments and Everyday Challenges from Birth to Three Years by Ilene S. Lefcourt

• Doing Psychoanalysis in Tehran by Gohar Homayounpour

• Psychoanalysis from the Inside Out by Lena Ehrlich

• Intimacy and Separateness by Warren Poland

• Dear Candidate: Analysts from around the World Offer Personal Reflections on Psychoanalytic Training, Education, and the Profession by Fred Busch

“I really think that the purpose is to make space for the unknown, uncertainty, and for our kind of humility in the face of the complexity of our belonging to the physical world. So it's our animality, our physicality, all of that is so complicated and difficult to grapple with. The unknown is uncontrollable and is a huge abyss, as we know, for everybody. I do think that I'm trying to pivot here a little bit towards meeting the patient's attempts to grapple with that unknown.”

Episode description: We begin by examining the assumptions of causality that we humans commonly invoke when faced with physical ailments. Childhood imaginings come forward during such times, and, despite being distressing, they offer comfort in the face of frightening uncertainty. Similarly, analytic theorizing has occasionally suggested certainties in the face of the unknown. This may limit the analytic space, thereby making vulnerability, fears, and new awarenesses less accessible. Sharone presents clinical material from patients with testicular cancer and lymphoma, where their psychogenic theories of etiology interfered with their medical care. We consider the distinction between patients with somatic symptoms and psychosomatic patients. We question the ability of the analytic method to uncover the origins of medical illnesses while emphasizing the importance of recognizing the "particular possibilities of our method."

Our Guest: Sharone Bergner Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist and psychoanalyst in full time private practice of psychoanalysis, psychotherapy and clinical supervision in New York City. She is a member and former faculty at the Institute for Psychoanalytic Training and Research and is Adjunct Assistant Clinical Professor and a clinical supervisor at the NYU Postdoctoral Program in Psychotherapy and Psychoanalysis, in the Contemporary Freudian track, where she teaches a course called The Body in Analytic Reverie. She is a member of the International Psychoanalytic Association and the editorial board of The Psychoanalytic Quarterly. She has a special interest in the body/mind in relation to maternal reverie in early development, vitality, embodiment, and medical issues, having worked early in her career in a cancer hospital, with the internal medicine, OBGYN, and dermatology clinics of a large urban teaching hospital, with political refugees and with parent-child pairs.

Recommended Readings:

1. Bergner, S. (2011). Seductive Symbolism: Psychoanalysis in the Context of Oncology. Psychoanalytic Psychology 28:267-292.

2. Gottlieb, R. (2003). Psychosomatic medicine: the divergent legacies of Freud and Janet. Journal of the American Psychoanalytic Association, 51:857-881.

3. Winnicott, D.W. (1966). Psycho-Somatic illness in its positive and negative aspects. International Journal of Psychoanalysis, 47:510-516.

4. Lombardi, R. (2017). Body-Mind Dissociation in Psychoanalysis: Developments After Bion. Routledge.

5. Lemma, A. (2015). Minding the Body: The Body in Psychoanalysis and Beyond. Routledge.

6. Miller, P. (2014). Driving Soma: A Transformational Process in the Analytic Encounter. London: Karnac. Not to be missed: case vignette: Recalling a Challenging Analytic Case, pp. xxvi-xxxviii