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In typical season finale format, Nalini and Ankita meet up to summarize everything they heard and learnt this season about what it means to be or have a life partner the non traditional way, where to go looking for such a person, when to STOP looking (using the 37% rule) and finally... How to make it last! This time, for the first time, AI helped them put together 5 very meaningful pillars for "independent " women to find a new-age not-necessarily-romantic-spouse after digesting the episodes of Spouse it up so far !

Nalini also shares openly about her quest to find the perfect co-founder in this start up called marriage, even spilling the beans on how they make life and financial decisions the non traditional way, how they fight and resolve conflicts. (Spoiler: no AI involved here, just radical independence)

4 frameworks and a story along with a bit of gossip on exes... There's something in it for everyone, even if this is the first episode of prickly peers you ever listen to. Maybe we can convince you to binge the season 😉

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Growing up in New Delhi as the youngest of the 3 daughters in a “normal” Indian family, Malvika always knew she was different than her sisters and people around. From wanting to wear a tuxedo to a wedding as a child to owning her “tom-boyish” identity as a teenager, Malvika didn’t wake up one day and come out to herself, her family or the world. She became who she is, by carefully exploring parts of her identity- sexual and otherwise, while not jumping to conclusions and labels! While her personal life was a slow exploration, her academic and professional life couldn’t be far from slow with studying computer science, doing her MBA at a top business school, working at world renowned companies like Google and Meta, moving between India, US and Singapore. Only like a techie can, she compartmentalized her life always ensuring she doesn’t let her identity as a queer person take over her life or become entirely WHO SHE IS. She knew she’s much more than a queer brown person! She also has some great advice for anyone thinking about coming out- getting the right timing is critical, she says.
Anyway, somewhere in the middle of this hustle and exploration, she met the love of her life- Ranisha- a Malaysian and Indian origin Singaporean who couldn’t be more different from Malvika, yet everything about her was SOOO familiar. What happened when they finally decided to be together, right before Malvika was moving away from Singapore and the pandemic hit? Listen in to find out..

Do comment with your learnings from their relationship for heteronormative relationships. Please feel free to reach out to us if you want to talk about any of the issues mentioned in the episode. We are here to help you find the right resources.

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When 17 year old Aboli fell in love for the first time, she couldn't have begun to imagine what life had in store for the both of them. Praful and Aboli didn't get to choose if and when to marry, because of the rules around Part 2 Order in the Indian Defence forces. Armed forces personnel are only allowed to cohabitate with a legally married heterosexual spouse. So, they obliged. At 23, she got married, quit her investment banking career temporarily, moved to a remote location in Jammu and Kashmir to be with the love of her life.. Then life unfolded.

In her thirties now, Aboli Moharkar lives in Pune by herself, has pivoted her career to mental health and grief coaching along with being a certified mountaineer. She defines love on a new spectrum now. She looks back at the few years of being married and has zero regrets. She has also come around to accepting the dual reality of Indian society - one where they shower her with flowers on a stage for giving the ultimate sacrifice for the nation (her spouse) and the one where she's subtly expected to maintain distance from religious ceremonies because widows bring bad luck, as per Hindu beliefs.

No matter who you are, from Aboli's story, we hope you learn to be a little more grateful & mindful about the present, a tad bit more resilient about the past, a little less demanding of war and a lot more patient towards grief - which is different for each and every person.

Love,

Your Prickly peers

Find Aboli's grief and mental health support group here and her amazing research article, on the realities and struggles of Indian war widows here.

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