Pretending as Survival

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Most people don’t ask questions when expectations are unclear. They pretend they understand.

In this episode of Think Differently, Dr. Theresa Haskins explores pretending — or masking — as a rational response to ambiguity in workplaces, schools, families, and relationships. Rather than framing silence and assimilation as personal shortcomings, she examines how systems reward appearing competent while quietly penalizing honesty and clarity-seeking.

Drawing on neurodivergent perspectives and well-established patterns from research on psychological safety, cognitive load, and masking, this episode unpacks why pretending works — until it doesn’t — and why the cost is almost always carried by the individual, not the system.