This episode tackles the heartfelt question of a recovering porn addict whose wife frequently screams, lashes out, and accuses him of lying—despite his efforts at sobriety and support. We emphasize that these outbursts often stem from deep, layered trauma, especially when relapse reopens old wounds. Recovery is not just about avoiding porn; it's about understanding and owning the devastating emotional impact the betrayal has had, and proactively working to create safety and restore trust.

We stress that individual recovery must come first. Addicts need to cultivate emotional stability, self-worth, and robust support systems. They must also proactively communicate their recovery journey—what they’re doing, learning, and becoming. Without this, partners will often default to fear and worst-case assumptions. Daily actions that rebuild trust, including follow-through on commitments and consistent emotional visibility, are essential. Rage, when seen through the right lens, is often a broken cry for connection that requires compassion, not defensiveness.

Finally, we remind both partners that long-term healing requires balanced, respectful communication. Addicts are not exempt from respect simply because they caused harm, and partners must also work on managing trauma-based responses. Screaming and toxic communication may be understandable but aren’t effective. A relationship can only thrive when both parties are working toward mutual healing, equality, and emotional safety. With courage and consistent effort, real connection is possible.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: My Betrayed Partner regularly Screams & Lashes Out . . . How can I Help Her?

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

In this powerful episode, we address the heart-wrenching story of a betrayed partner whose marriage has been scarred by nearly two decades of emotional abuse, chronic dishonesty, and sexual betrayal. Despite having initiated divorce proceedings, she finds herself still seeking clarity and wondering if hope remains. Her husband, who continues to act out sexually while refusing meaningful recovery, tells her that she’s overreacting and simply needs to “get over it.” We unpack the damaging impact of that dismissive attitude and the emotional exhaustion that comes when a partner’s pain is ignored or minimized.

We explore the reasons why sex and porn addicts often refuse to change—from deep-rooted denial and shame to emotional immaturity, fear, and pride. By understanding these psychological and relational patterns, partners can gain the clarity needed to make authentic, self-honoring decisions. At the same time, we emphasize that understanding the “why” does not mean excusing the behavior. The addict’s refusal to grow or take accountability places a ceiling on the relationship and prevents the kind of healing and intimacy that both partners deserve.

Ultimately, the question becomes not whether a betrayed partner wants to stay, but whether she can stay without losing herself. We outline the crucial role of boundaries—not as threats, but as life-saving tools to protect dignity and self-worth—and the essential need to rebuild identity, self-trust, and personal sovereignty. Whether a partner stays or leaves, the message is clear: you do not have to settle for pain, silence, or stagnation. You have the right to be seen, heard, and whole—and no, you don’t need to “just get over it.” You deserve better.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: My Porn/Sex Addicted Partner tells me I just need to "Get over it" . . . So, now what?!

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

PBSE Podcast Episode 287 explores the recurring emotional turmoil experienced by a betrayed partner whose addict spouse continues to cycle through emotional relapses, despite seemingly engaging in recovery activities. Every six months, he emotionally regresses—questioning their relationship, doubting compatibility, and withdrawing connection—which destabilizes her sense of safety and triggers deep trauma. In her desperation for reassurance, she finds herself compulsively seeking emotional details, only to be retraumatized further. The article highlights that this dynamic, often driven by fear and confusion, creates a lopsided relationship where she becomes the emotional pursuer while he remains distant and inconsistent.

The authors emphasize that this cycle cannot be broken by surface-level recovery or simply “doing the right things.” True healing requires the addict to engage in deeper emotional work, initiate vulnerability, express consistent gratitude, and offer proactive transparency. Simultaneously, the betrayed partner must establish clear boundaries, articulate her emotional needs, and begin shifting her support system to include emotionally safe, non-romantic relationships outside the marriage. These actions help her move from desperation to empowerment, offering both self-preservation and clarity around what kind of relationship she’s willing to invest in.

Ultimately, the article calls for both partners to be fully engaged—not just during crises, but consistently. Emotional safety, mutual respect, and honest communication are the pillars of sustainable recovery and intimacy. While the current cycle may feel hopeless, with intentional effort and deep personal work on both sides, it is possible to rebuild a relationship that is emotionally grounded, safe, and truly connected.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: My Addict Partner Keeps Going Through Cycles of Taking Me for Granted. What do I do?

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services