PBSE Episode 277 addresses a deeply personal and often overlooked consequence of pornography addiction: the loss of enjoyment in media that was once shared and meaningful within a relationship. The authors respond to a listener's question about whether he and his partner can ever again enjoy media that has been “pornified” through his addiction. They explain how sexual addiction often extends beyond explicit content to include distorted sexualization of characters and media, leading to feelings of betrayal, shame, and disconnection. The podcast highlights how the brain, once trained to objectify, cannot selectively compartmentalize those responses, making formerly innocent content triggering or painful.

Recovery, the authors argue, begins with sobriety—creating enough distance from compulsive behaviors and media to assess its true impact. Only after detoxing can individuals and couples explore the question of reclaiming media in a healthy, intentional way. The process demands deep self-honesty, a redefinition of personal boundaries, and meaningful conversations with one’s partner. Trust and safety must be reestablished through consistent behaviors, transparent communication, and a shared vision for healing. Practical tools like content filtering, media planning, and regular emotional check-ins are vital for navigating this journey thoughtfully and securely.

Ultimately, the article offers hope: while some things may not return to their previous form, many aspects of media and connection can be redeemed. This requires letting go of black-and-white thinking and embracing a new, authentic relationship with media—one rooted in purpose, not compulsion. By learning to see people and experiences as whole, rather than as fragmented or sexualized, couples can rediscover joy, connection, and even innocence in their lives. The path forward may not restore what was lost in its original form, but it can lead to something even more meaningful—a deeper, shared way of living with clarity, connection, and freedom.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: My Habit of "Pornifying" Everything has Ruined EnJoyable Media for Me & My Partner!

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

Episode 276 addresses a question often asked by partners of addicts in recovery: “Do I have to wait for the formal amends process before I see real change?” The authors explain that real transformation in recovery should not be postponed until Steps 8 and 9 of the 12-step model. They draw a clear distinction between a simple apology and the deeper process of making amends, emphasizing that true recovery begins with personal accountability, transparency, and a willingness to face difficult truths—not with a formal ceremony or set timeline. Waiting for a specific step to begin meaningful repair in a relationship is not only unnecessary, but often counterproductive.

The article also explores why addicts may avoid transparency, citing both nefarious and sincere motivations. Some use recovery language as a shield to delay vulnerability or to avoid accountability, a behavior referred to as “weaponizing recovery.” Others may believe they need to handle everything on their own, often stemming from unhealthy family systems or distorted beliefs about responsibility. These patterns, while sometimes well-intentioned, still prevent the growth and emotional openness necessary for healing. The authors stress that full transparency should begin early in recovery, as emotional honesty is foundational for any real connection or rebuilding of trust.

For betrayed partners, the article offers a roadmap for reclaiming personal empowerment. It encourages them to build outside support systems, gain clarity about their own needs, and hold firm boundaries—not as a means of controlling their partner’s behavior, but to protect their own healing. The message is clear: real recovery is demonstrated through consistent honesty, presence, and vulnerability long before any formal amends are made. Partners do not have to—and should not—wait for a specific step before expecting accountability and meaningful change.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: Do I Have to Wait for "Formal Amends" Process Before My Addict Partner Shows Any Real Change?

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services

This PBSE episode (275), inspired by a listener’s vulnerable question, dives deep into the emotional complexity of intimacy in long-term relationships—particularly when one partner has struggled with pornography addiction. The woman asks how her husband can look “past” her aging body and be genuinely aroused by real love. Her question reveals the pain of feeling invisible or undesired and touches on the widespread cultural belief that sexual attraction is rigid and solely tied to youth or physical perfection. The article dismantles this myth, showing that arousal is not a static, uncontrollable instinct, but a moldable response shaped by years of influence, experience, and personal choices.

Mark and Steve, speaking from their own journeys of recovery and their work with countless clients, explain how pornography warps the arousal template, training the brain to see only surface-level stimulation while disconnecting from emotional and spiritual depth. But through consistent personal work, emotional vulnerability, and intentional connection, that template can be rewritten. Real-life examples—like a therapist who found arousal in his wife’s post-mastectomy scars—illustrate that true desire comes not from ignoring reality, but from embracing it. The physical becomes more meaningful, not less, when it’s rooted in shared experience, loyalty, admiration, and love.

Ultimately, the article reframes arousal not as something to “look past,” but as something to “look through”—to see the fullness of a partner, body and soul. It calls both partners to re-engage in intimacy with eyes wide open, choosing to cultivate love through emotional connection and shared meaning. The grand takeaway is that authentic, meaningful love is not only enough to spark desire—it’s the most powerful and lasting form of arousal there is.

For a full transcript of this podcast in article format, go to: How Can He "Look Past" My Body & Be Aroused by Real Love?!

Learn more about Mark and Steve's revolutionary online porn/sexual addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing program at—daretoconnectnow.com

Find out more about Steve Moore at: Ascension Counseling

Learn more about Mark Kastleman at: Reclaim Counseling Services