MERRRRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY PORG CHATTER!!!

This week, we discuss the crypto crash, Asterios' awful alarm clock, The Good Doctor, mailed-in-a-box meats, MadBondz, drug addictions, McDonalds cups, and...PORGS-GIVING! 

Art by the amazing Magi. They did it for free just to be cool, so please follow them at @magipicsandsuch on Twitter!

Henlo it’s Skinachos. Asterios won’t let me watch anime until I write this post copy, so enjoy this episode of Porg Chatter before I put myself in an Idolm@ster coma like the worthless piece of human garbage that I am. Speaking of rotting garbage, in this episode, we return from the Mecca of Porgs: Orlando, Florida. I have recently come into possession of three new sons: 

Plus, there’s still one more week to enter our iTunes review contest to win your very own stuffed porglet! All you have to do is write a review on iTunes, then send a screencap of it to porgchatter@protonmail.com.

Lmao imagine being able to build traps and shit and everyone still hates you THIS POST WAS MADE BY PORG GANG. Enjoy!

The fuck? I'm not even IN this episode! Some Asterios Kokkinos Podcast Factory this turned out to be...here's the description from the Mother of Porgs herself, Siranche:

* * * 

Hello! It's Srirancha, coming to you with a brand new episode of Porg Chatter--featuring the one and only Minnesota lawyer Nick Rekieta.

You've been asking for it! You've been begging for it! You've been relentlessly harassing me on Twitter for it! Much like actual porgs, you've been screeching into the void until I break down like an exhausted parent and just give you what you want. Prepare to get very excited when you see that notification pop up and then be immediately disappointed because you've built this episode up in your brain to be so hysterical that it will put you into a coma. 

Is this what you wanted? Are you entertained? Are you happy? Does this make you happy? Do you love this shit? Are you high right now? Do you ever get nervous? Are you single?

Anyways, listen to me and Rackets briefly discuss porg law and then proceed to talk way more about Four Lokos and the original McDonald's french fries than porgs.

This has been Porg Chatter. 

Sirancha continues to torture me with her "Best Debate" parody series in this week's episode of PORG CHATTER!

Sirancha and I have a new porg!

He's Wallard's brother, but he's very small, so his name is...SMOLLARD.

You'll hear all about him, AND get to vote on his fate, on this week's episode of P-P-P-POOORRGG CHATTEERRRR!!

POLL QUESTIONS

Question 1: Should Smollard Have Been Aborted? https://www.strawpoll.me/16151994

Question 2: Did Sirancha Say "Lightsaber", "Lifesaver" or "Lightsaver?" https://www.strawpoll.me/16152018

Question 3: How Do You Pronounce "Vitiligo?" https://www.strawpoll.me/16152051

Porgs don't use alcohol to escape their problems. They're only addiction is hugs! 

Sadly, Sirancha and I aren't porgs. We open this episode with a, frankly, unusually sincere conversation about how we both need to drink a little less.

But then we talk about Porgs so it's all ok, my dudes!