People Pleasing: The Guide to Saying No

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins is our Q2 Reads and Recovery book pick. It captures the chaos and distortion of alcoholism so well!

Saying No is a difficult but necessary part of self-care. You know those moments when everything in you is saying no, but we say yes anyway and then pay for it later with fatigue, pain, frustration, or resentment.

Today I talk through what people pleasing really is. When I stopped to think about what I feel when I’m saying yes but want to say No, there is an underlying fear of conflict, disappointing others, and trying to manage how other people feel about me. For those of us living in recovery with a chronic illness or pain with limited energy, people pleasing becomes self-abandonment. Fighting that urge to respond right away and pausing first helps me listen to myself and practice simple, honest boundaries without over-explaining my Why. I help to redefine what saying No means so that we no longer feel selfish. Saying No for the right reasons is respecting our own wellness and protecting our recovery.

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