Peace Talk Episode 288: investigating physical pain, rejection, wanting acknowledgment from a judge

When we have physical pain, it's difficult not to get frightened of doctors, or resentful of life itself or the body. When we're not acknowledged, or we believe someone's blaming us for our behavior, we suffer. Who are we without our stories, and also not falling into passivity or despair? Join a live self-inquiry session inspired by The Work of Byron Katie. We explore how uninvestigated “stories” create suffering—especially around doctors and bad news, physical pain & migraines, being judged or rejected, and needing others to be happy. Through the 4 Questions (“Is it true?” etc.) and gentle turnarounds, participants notice how fear-thoughts like “I don’t want this,” “Something’s wrong,” “They’re rejecting me,” and “I need my partner to be happy” amplify stress—and how clarity returns when we question them. What you’ll see: Fear of doctors and “they might find something wrong” “I don’t want this pain” (migraines, resistance, fight mode) Courtroom moment: “We didn’t cause this” and the sting of not being acknowledged People-pleasing, being “the good one,” and the fear of being seen as “bad” Turnarounds that soften shame, panic, and urgency—and restore compassion If you’re curious about self-inquiry, anxiety relief, or how to meet pain and judgment without collapse, this session offers practical, real-world examples. 00:00 – Welcome & setup: noticing a stressful “story” 04:30 – Fear of doctors: “They may find something wrong” 12:40 – “I don’t want this” (physical pain & migraine resistance) 22:10 – Courtroom story: “Acknowledge we didn’t cause this” 33:20 – Rejection fear: “They don’t accept me when I’m emotional” 43:05 – How we react when we believe it (fight, hide, obsess) 54:00 – Who would I be without the thought? 1:03:00 – Turnarounds: to self, other, and opposites 1:14:30 – Pain as messenger; being your own compassionate caregiver 1:22:00 – Closing reflections & next steps Grace Bell, facilitator of The Work, assists people to identify and question their stressful ways of looking at life. She offers Year of Inquiry, a vibrant membership community of inquirers Sept-June each year. Learn more about Year of Inquiry at https://workwithgrace.com/year-of-inquiry Grace also has a special love for those suffering from eating issues including disordered eating (disordered thinking) of all kinds--having suffered from this behavior and thought/feeling process herself and finding an unshakable peace within around eating, food, health and behaviors with eating. Grace works with all kinds of compulsions, habits and addictions as they are all the same thing: a pull to some behavior, substance or activity in order to help us with our stressful feelings and thoughts. As Byron Katie offers us (founder of The Work); when we believe what we think, it creates unnecessary suffering. When we question what we think, we feel lighter and less serious about what is. We even begin to laugh. We notice who we really are is peaceful already, a human being living life as best we can--learning, growing, loving. In the public sessions on this youtube channel, we have all-group inquiry sessions called First Friday Inquiry, we have interviews with practitioners of The Work, we have Eating Peace videos (on the eating peace playlist) and we have individual sessions in The Work by courageous people willing to be recorded for Peace Talk podcast and this channel. Thanks to everyone involved in what is shared here on this channel, as it is great service to others in the world who find their way here and who are curious about life without "believing" thought all the time. In all-group sessions and solo sessions, we begin with a judgment...and move into the four questions and turnarounds. Willingness to be real and honest with your thinking is the first powerful step in The Work. No one ever has to share when attending Friday Inquiry, and thank you when you do. For the Work With Grace programs and more information, and to get on the Grace Notes mailing list for updates and sharing of all kinds around The Work, please visit www.workwithgrace.com To receive notice of Eating Peace programs, videos and vlog posts, visit www.workwithgrace.com/eating-peace and join the mailing list. To join the Grace Notes family of readers right now, Grace's popular blog on using The Work of Byron Katie to grow a peaceful life, get the thorough START HERE guide to letting The Work, work right here: https://workwithgrace.leadpages.co/start-here-guidebook/ Where to find me: workwithgrace.com grace notes from the past at workingwithgrace.com https://www.facebook.com/WorkWithGrace/ https://twitter.com/ByronKatieCoach https://www.linkedin.com/in/workwithgrace/ https://www.instagram.com/byronkatiecoach/