“I’ve experienced things I never thought I’d experience. I’ve experienced freedom I never thought I would have. I didn’t even know it existed.”

This a powerful reflection around sobriety from this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ that I really relate to. Harry Gay (he/him) - YES, that’s his real name and there’s a brilliant story about it in this episode - is a DJ, event producer & activist. He’s the Founder & Co-Director of London-based DJ collection Queer House Party which started as online venture during lockdown fronted by a crew of frontline workers who threw their DJ equipment together & went with it. It’s since become a mainstay of nightlife in the capital - bold, political, unapologetic.

Harry brings a shit ton of creativity, skill & energy to his DJing & reflects on the journey as DJ & Queer House Party, what it stands for and how it’s evolved organically.

Little Harry grew up in Hertfordshire in a working class, single parent household and we chat about his constantly being in trouble at school, family dynamics & feeling out of place. His experience of ADHD, and a later diagnosis, have helped him make sense of much of this and he goes on to describe how going sober has also become a part of that. Which is particularly timely given he’s just celebrated his third soberversary.

Despite struggling with education, Harry went on to become top of his class at university and his studies, as well as settling into London life, informed much of his work around activism, advocacy & campaigning on a variety of issues including supporting asylum seekers, homelessness & youth advocacy.

When asked what he’s proud of, Harry reflects on his 15 year old self sneaking out to G-A-Y bar in Soho where he started to find community, belonging & an interest in politics. He also fondly reflects on the angry energy he had in his 20s. These days, despite being in nightlife and living the freelance life, he enjoys calmness. And the three words Harry uses to describe his origin story - Kicking-Off. Chaos. Serenity - really capture him & his origin story.

“Trust yourself. No-one knows what they’re doing. It’s a realisation I had far too late”. He’s not just one of my favourite DJs out there. Harry is someone I’ve personally learned a lot from & I’m so grateful for this conversation as I close out season 3. Enjoy!

“I don’t care if it’s just one person at a time. Because one person talks to one person talks to one person. That’s how you win.”

LGBTQ+ inclusion and rugby in the topic here as this week’s guest on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ shares their efforts in founding & becoming the Chair of the World's First LGBTQIA+ supporters' association in World Professional Rugby, QuinsPride at Harlequins. It’s impressive - and so is Emily Hamilton (she/her).

Emily is Deputy CEO of Trans in the City and a FTSE 100 Vice President with a 25 year career in Strategic Change and Transformation. She’s a global speaker on Trans+ inclusion, mental health & business effectiveness. She sits on advisory panels for the Police and CPS in the cause of eradicating LGBTQ+ Hate Crime and Violence against Women and Girls. She’s award winning - rightly so - and she’s using her passion, expertise & skills to improve the lives of trans+ individuals in the workplace & beyond.

Little Emily grew in West London and knew she was different. She had a fascination with jewelry & wanted to be Madonna. During an appointment with a child psychologist in an early attempt to come out. “I’m a girl”, she shared. She knew she’d said something wrong from the response leading to conversion therapy.

Masking, self preservation & shame are all part of Emily’s story. And whilst she reflects fondly of her career in the military, like other guests, there was the constant fear of ‘the knock on the door’. Emily’s advocacy for mental health means she openly shares her multiple experiences of attempting suicide & the life-saving call from a dear friend being the reason she is still her today.

And she’s proud to still be here. “If you’re not here, you can’t do any more good, can you?”. I know I speak for so many people when I say I’m truly glad Emily is still here.

The words Emily uses to describe her origin story are ‘Stubbon. Tenacity. Frightened.’ All of which shape Emily, her purpose & her lived experience as a bisexual, Trans woman. And whilst the current landscape for the Trans+ community is frightening and has taken her back to a darker space over the last 6 - 9 months, Emily sees hope - more organisation & urgency, a greater sense of community & egos dropping away as we come together.

She believes change is possible. The army taught her that “if the political will is there you can change rapidly”. We talk through her career shift from the army to business as well as self-care & kindness, accountability & forgiveness, the cost of visibility, Emily’s pride in her wonderful daughter & not waiting for permission to ‘do the thing’.

Please note | We cover some challenging topics in this episode, specifically around mental health & suicide so please take care of yourself whilst listening.

“It’s all about changing hearts & minds. That’s kind of me all over really.”

With a career in PR working across small & large agencies through to founding TransMission PR - lovingly described as her third child - for Aby Hawker (she/her), it’s truly a mission driven by love, values & an incredibly clear stance on what it’s all about. That being to flip the narrative and prioritise uplifting Trans+ representation & stories across the board.

Aby is the first LGBTQ+ ally I’ve had on ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ and we talk about her journey to the space she’s in now as a cisgender, straight woman from taking on comms in Trans+ healthcare for Gender GP over a decade ago through to founding a Trans+ focused PR agency that centres collaboration, lived experience & expertise and positive change for the community. I was curious as to how much of Aby’s origin story has influenced the Aby we know & love today…

Little Aby was a self-labelled “total swot” who wasn’t easily deterred from her goals. She reflects on how this was driven by a need to please, potentially as a result from coming from a divorced background, but how it’s got her to where she needed to be. Being born in Italy & spending time there throughout her life meant that Aby completed a degree in languages which sparked the revelation “now I know what I don’t want to do”.

Aby’s determination, clarity around who she is & a firm belief in what’s right & wrong clearly shows up in her work now. An eternal optimism, tenacity & learning to be a bit braver are fundamental to her story and the three words she uses to describe herself & her origin story ‘Run Towards It’ couldn’t be more fitting.

We chat about career failures, take-aways for anyone wanting to go into PR, parenting, success & happiness and some solid advice including ‘don’t be a dick’. Enjoy!

If your organisation would like to work with TransMission PR, get in touch | https://transmissionpr.com/

Oh and go stream ‘First Day’ on YouTube - available to watch now | https://www.youtube.com/@firstdaytvseries