Passwords Before Pussy

Text Ur Topics BDs!! Yo Mama is here!!

Welcome to Episode Eight of Bitch, Don’t Be Dumb. First episode of 2026 and Yo Mamma is not easing anyone in.

This one’s for the women in “trust-based” monogamy with a man who still guards his phone like it’s Fort Knox. Let’s be clear: casual sex has different rules. Tinder dick? Club dick? Nobody needs your passcode. But the second a man wants to claim you—call it a relationship, monogamy, “that’s my girl,” “that’s my pussy”—the phone becomes part of the deal.

No password? No pussy.
Locked phone? Locked legs.

This episode tears into modern dating bullshit, fake privacy, burner apps, Snapchat dirtbags, and the way women are trained to hand over their bodies while men stay conveniently encrypted. Yo Mamma gets personal—four husbands deep, receipts included—and breaks down why transparency isn’t jealousy, it’s parity.

If your man says “you should trust me” while clutching his phone, that’s not trust—that’s a warning label. Monogamy without access isn’t monogamy. It’s a scam with better PR.

Passwords first. Pussy second.
Or go love your phone.

Music by Nathan Wills.