This week on Participation Trophy Wives, we discover animals speak multiple languages (who knew?), roast the genius who thought suing Hershey’s over peanut butter pumpkins was a good use of time, hand out our Trophies of the Week, and launch our brand-new rant segment: Kick Rocks—served with a piping hot Whoot Choot.

This week on Participation Trophy Wives: We make friends with our new AI overlords (might as well get on their good side early), finally uncover the true identity of Grimace (spoiler: it’s not what you think), and learn the hard way that procrastination leads directly to the ninth circle of hell… also known as the DMV. From circuits to happy meals , we’ve got you covered.

This week, the wives catch up on life’s big moments—graduations, runaway zebras, and Alicia’s thrilling descent into jury duty. Also, cherries. Why? We’re still not sure. Don’t miss the madness, the mayhem, and of course, our highly coveted (and definitely made-up) Trophies of the Week.

Take a journey of discovery with wives as Kayt uncovers her new community.

Alicia helps rid the world trauma bonding and together the wives become de-influencers. And look our Rusted root here come their knee nipples!

The wives are feeling the Delco Holy Spirit this week! Join the PTW pilgrimage as they discuss Pope Jawn the First, their insight into what really happens during the conclave and what their first acts of Popeism would be. They share another tale from hotel hell and end their crusade with their trophies of the week! De Dominos Patre el sanctu pepperoni to you too.

Our wives jump back in to discuss home repairs, their niche with nature and what hell is wrong with Tori Spelling! Find out what’s brewing in our cold brew conversation, ignore the neigh-sayers and dive into our trophies of the week!

Open your gullet for some Zombie Jesus candy. The Wives talk about more of Kayt's fears, some hidden talents, and all the bodies floating around the sea. Stick around for our trophies of the week. And beef organs.

Join our wives as they float through the ocean discussing the dead fish of hope and it’s mark on society. They discuss the perils of flying next to a dead body and the miracle work of dollar tree duck tape.

Grab your blueberry tea and a tums for this epic journey.