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Have you ever felt burnout out and the sense that you're somehow failing at being a woman and a mother? Particularly given the opportunities we've been given compared with what our own mothers had?

You're not alone. According to Dr Giselle Goodwin, women's happiness has been in decline since the 1970's despite increased freedoms and opportunities.

When women were told we could have it all, it seems what we really heard was we must do it all. It's been dubbed The Female Paradox and in this episode Dr Goodwin shares her personal struggles balancing career and motherhood.

She talks us through how societal expectations haven't really changed, even while women are expected to go out to work, resulting in what's been dubbed the "second shift" of domestic responsibilities.

We also explore the Paula Principle, where women often take jobs below their skill level for flexibility to fit in with home life, contrasting it with the Peter Principle where men are promoted above their competence.

In spite of the problems, Giselle emphasizes it's vital for women to be in high-level roles for societal representation and equity and the real work needs to be done in discussions about how we divide up the mental and physical labour of or lives.

She advises young people to view their careers as a portfolio, adapting to life's seasons, and encourages midlife reassessment.

Dr Giselle Goodwin:

https://gisellegoodwin.com/

https://www.instagram.com/

BOOK: Can Women Really Have it All?: A Happiness Handbook for Working Mothers

Research shows that working mothers experience up to 40% more stress and that women’s happiness has been declining since the 1970s. How do we fix this? Backed by compelling research and packed with actionable suggestions, this groundbreaking book answers the burning questions of working mothers today:

• Why do so many mothers feel chronically guilty?
• What actions can women take to improve their own happiness?
• What changes do we need from society to improve women’s lives?
• Does working outside the home make mothers happier?
• Is part-time work the answer, or does it bring its own problems?
• What advice should we give to our children?

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support.

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

We all loose our cool sometimes. but teenagers can find it particularly challenging to stay calm or calm down when enraged. It takes self-awareness and skill, and a level of brain development that just isn't there for some of them.

One listener contacted us for help with her son who is being goaded by friends at school and getting into trouble for losing his temper. We talk about the brain development stage that makes this so prevalent in teens, and discuss top tips for how she can support him in managing his emotions.

www.teenagersuntangled.com

EXCELLENT WORKSHEET:
https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/coping-skills-anger

Here are five key tips for handling a teenager with explosive anger:

1. Normalize the emotion: Help your teen understand that anger is a natural signal, not a problem. Explain the brain changes happening during adolescence that can make emotions intense.
2. Create a safe space: Provide a designated area where they can express anger without judgment. This could be a room, a punching bag, or a place to play loud music and release emotions.
3. Develop a trigger awareness strategy: Work together to identify anger triggers. Create a log to track what situations, comments, or environments set off their anger, and develop coping mechanisms.
4. Practice emotional regulation tools: Teach breathing techniques, use a code word (like "Flint") to signal when they're becoming overwhelmed, and help them recognize physical signs of anger building up.
5. Maintain a supportive relationship: Focus on positive reinforcement, listen without trying to immediately fix the problem, and consistently show love and understanding. Avoid punishment during angry outbursts and discuss strategies calmly when they're calm.

RESOURCES USED:

• Yale Medicine. (n.d.). Anger, Irritability and Aggression in Kids. [online] Available at: https://www.yalemedicine.org/conditions/anger-issues-in-children-and-teens#:~:text=For%20children%2C%20anger%20issues%20often.
• Myler, C. (2020). Understanding teen boys’ anger. [online] Maggie Dent. Available at: https://www.maggiedent.com/blog/understanding-teen-boys-anger/.
• ‌Russell, D.L. (2023). Anger Management Techniques for Teenagers: A Parent Guide. [online] They Are The Future. Available at: https://www.theyarethefuture.co.uk/anger-management-techniques-for-teenagers/ [Accessed 12 Jun. 2023]

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support.

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk

What do you think of this episode? Do you have any topics you'd like me to cover?

Featuring Mindfulness expert, Susie Asli

Having kids can seem like a non-stop obstacle course trying to get another living being to do things, whether for their own good or our own sanity.

Getting the right balance between love and discipline is incredibly tricky, and for many of us it's a constant haggle.

So what do the experts say about it? What works, and what about the teenager who doesn't seem to care?

READ MY BLOG:

• https://www.teenagersuntangled.com/blog/whats-going-on-when-our-boundaries-and-consequences-dont-seem-to-work/

TOP TIPS:

1. Focus on Connection and a strong relationship with your teenager.
2. Let teens experience the direct results of their actions.
3. Consequences should be clear, time-limited, and directly related to changing the specific behavior.
4. Involve Teenagers in creating consequences.
5. Separate the Behavior from the Person: You love them unconditionally, but don't like the specific behavior.
6. Don't take away activities that support personal development.
7. Always provide context for rules and consequences.
8. Be Consistent and Fair: Follow through with consequences, but remain flexible and understanding.
9. Notice and acknowledge when they do well to build connection and mutual respect.
10. Seek Support if you're finding it challenging to manage your teenager's behavior.

RESOURCES USED:

• https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/family/effective-vs-counterproductive-methods-of-teen-punishment/?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_m&utm_term=PerformanceMax&utm_content=&network=x&placement=&target=&matchtype=&utm_campaign=16929735023&ad_type=responsive_pmax&adposition=&kwd_id=&gclid=Cj0KCQiAnsqdBhCGARIsAAyjYjQ7VuP6YXy_xN5VEyj-jTeNIwj1LDUhiSEaegaxw4NeK4zBWoI1GVMaArsTEALw_wcB
• Parenting style as a moderator of the effect of temperament on adolescent externalising and internalising behaviour problems: https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/educational-and-developmental-psychologist/article/abs/parenting-style-as-a-moderator-of-the-effect-of-temperament-on-adolescent-externalising-and-internalising-behaviour-problems/78AC30E10887EC321057BF1E1C8CA349

Support the show

Thank you so much for your support.

Please hit the follow button if you like the podcast, and share it with anyone who might benefit. You can review us on Apple podcasts by going to the show page, scrolling down to the bottom where you can click on a star then you can leave your message.

I don't have medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

My email is teenagersuntangled@gmail.com
And my website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact me:
www.teenagersuntangled.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/teenagersuntangled/
Facebook: https://m.facebook.com/teenagersuntangled/

You can reach Susie at www.amindful-life.co.uk