“Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, ‘Anyone who wants to be first must be the very last, and the servant of all’” (Mark 9:35)

We all want our kids to be leaders in their communities now and in the future. As followers of Jesus, we are called to see ourselves last instead of first. In fact, the Bible tells us that the first shall be last and the last shall be first. This means we lead not by positioning ourselves well, but by seeing the needs of others and meeting those needs with our giftings and resources.

When we serve and love others in this way, we serve and love God. This week, let’s pray that our kids become humble servant leaders in their communities to make a big impact on God’s kingdom. Let’s pray that they are the first to help when they see others in need and that they reflect Christ’s gentleness, mercy, and willingness to sacrificially serve and share with others.

Jesus, help us to lead like you do. May ______________ set aside their desire for power and accolades and serve out of a heart for you and your kingdom. I pray that they continue to make a difference in their community because of the example of service that you give us. May their heart stay humble and focused on you. Amen.

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Have you ever heard the term “mental load” as it relates to what we carry as moms? It's the same as carrying every single thing up the stairs as your arms give way to the overload. Our minds do the same. We just snap because our minds aren’t meant to carry so much. So what do we do? How do we keep our care and responsibility high for our kids without drowning?

I was delighted to talk about this issue with Emily Jensen, founder of Risen Motherhood. She’s a mom of 5, author, speaker, podcaster and has so much encouragement and practical tips for us.

Mother’s Day is this week and I want to challenge us. If you have some expectations or needs for what you need for that day - would you tell your spouse? Or family? Or children? This will help the day to be much smoother!

My favorite part is when she shares about her recent decision to walk away from a big part of her ministry at Risen Motherhood. She put everything before the Lord and asked Him to confirm which things should go in this season. Wow! What a brave thing to do and I can’t wait to see how He honors her with letting go of something so close to her heart.

Happy Mother’s Day beautiful moms! You are so loved by God. You are doing a phenomenal job or raising your kids. Giving you a huge Texas hug!

Much love,

Courtney

(02:50) The Mission Behind 'A Million Tiny Moments'

(06:04) Understanding the Mental Load in Motherhood

(09:05) Strategies to Alleviate the Mental Load

(11:54) Long-Term vs. Short-Term Parenting Goals

(14:53) Finding Clarity Through Prayer and Decision-Making

(16:49) Navigating Life's Seasons

(21:27) Alleviating the Mental Load

(25:58) Empowering Kids with Responsibility

(28:15) Managing Expectations for Mother's Day

(32:31) Finding Peace in Motherhood

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Emily

Risen Motherhood

A Million Tiny Moments - new book by Emily Jensen

Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide

NIV Application Bible

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“No, O people, the Lord has told you what is good, and this is what he requires of you: to do what is right, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8 NLT)

How do we reconcile fairness in a world that is unjust and broken? I always tell my kids, fair does not mean equal. We can’t make everything fair in the world because fairness is how we are treated individually and everyone’s wants, situations, and abilities are different. Justice goes deeper than fairness. Justice is about what we deserve and we all deserve the same things.

In the Bible, justice means everyone—the poor, the widows, the orphans, the immigrants, are cared for just like everyone else.

Scripture calls us to care for these people, but that might seem really abstract to kids. So, we can teach our kids that seeking justice means including the kid with learning differences in class projects. Making sure the lonely kid is invited to the party. And it can mean standing up for what is right when someone is being wronged, bullied, or picked on. Actively seeking justice looks like our kids being a peacemaker instead of a peacekeeper and sometimes that is hard! But we are promised that the peacemakers will be called sons and daughters of God!

This week, let’s pray that our kids share God’s heart for others in the way they treat people around them. Let’s pray that our kids’ hearts break for what breaks God’s and that they see injustice in the world and have the courage and faith to stand up to it.

God, I pray that _______________ will see what is right, love what is right, and humbly do what is right in your name. In an unjust world, I pray that _____________ will seek justice in all situations. When they see someone being mistreated, give them the courage to step in. When they see the opportunity to help, give them the ability to do so. I pray that as they grow they see injustices beyond their small communities and in the greater world and do what is in their power to right them. Amen.

https://churchonthemove.com/pursuing-justice

They are back! Sissy Goff and David Thomas are back to equip us with “3 core needs for every kid.” They are always so encouraging and so very practical. The work they have done in their counseling offices has helped thousands of parents just like me. I cling to their perspective and biblical encouragement.

We talk about our kids’ need for resilience, courage and relationship. We also talk about the health benefits for your kids when they have a dog. I couldn't agree more and I was the most anti-dog person in our family until we got our dog. And if you want to go watch this one on YouTube - you’ll see a cute appearance by Sissy’s dog, Patches.

My favorite part was when they shared about our kids’ need for connection more than correction. I am so guilty of critiquing my kids and I can see their little faces sink when I do that. This is a huge reminder for us all to fight for connection instead of staying stuck in a loop of critique. What would the little kid in you want from your parents? Let’s stay alert this week and catch ourselves when we lead with criticism.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Health benefits of kids having a dog
• Resilience and taking healthy risks
• How to speak courage into the lives of our kids
• How to prioritize relationships

Enjoy!

Courtney

(02:59) Core Needs for Kids: The Importance of Dogs

(06:04) The Role of Courage in Child Development

(12:01) Healthy Risk Taking in Children

(17:59) Building Relationships and Social Skills

(23:57) Conclusion and Resources for Parents

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Sissy and David

Daystar Counseling

Daystar dogs - new books – Owen Learns He Has What It Takes and Lucy Learns to Be Brave

Anxious Generation

Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32)

Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” It means that we see someone’s pain or needs and we want to help them.

Jesus shows compassion over and over through scripture. We don’t need to be afraid of stepping into someone’s suffering with them. Entering into that does not mean we take on their burdens or pain, it means we offer relief and love in any way we can. But no matter how we can help others or how others can help us, Jesus is always overflowing with compassion and with us in all our sufferings.

This week, let’s pray that our kids share compassion with others. Let’s ask God to give them the eyes to see the needs around them and the compassion to move to action.

Jesus, help us to be more and more like you every day. I pray that _____________ grows to be filled with compassion. May their hearts overflow with compassion, just like yours does, when they see needs around them. May they step into the suffering of others knowing that you are there too. Amen.

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Get ready to laugh! We all need some more Melissa Radkes in our lives. Melissa is not just funny - she’s a mom that is immensely talented. She’s a best-selling author, speaker and television personality. She reminds me of Seinfeld in the ways she observes everyday life and finds the amusement in it all.

I don’t know about you, but I need to have moments in my everyday life to simply lighten up and enjoy it. This episode will allow you to pause and enjoy a chat about all things women. She shares the most hysterical stories about growing up in the South while also sharing heartfelt thoughts on her journey as a mom. She is simply delightful!

Don’t miss her heartfelt and honest encouragement about learning to accept who you are. She is at a point in her life where she feels settled in her body and personality. However, there was a season when she prayed to be someone else. I pray that last little bit will encourage you in a deep way. Let the truth of what she says sink into your heart – that the God who created you loves exactly who you are.

Much love,

Courtney

Chapters

(03:01) Navigating Life in Texas

(05:51) Graduation and College Preparations

(08:56) The Importance of Female Friendships

(12:02) The Impact of Women in Our Lives

(14:56) Preparing for College Life

(17:58) Facing Loneliness in College

(18:16) Shared Experiences and Humor in Childhood

(20:21) Nostalgic Family Memories and Food Traditions

(23:51) The Role of Food in Family Dynamics

(26:18) Finding One's Identity and Acceptance

(30:01) Embracing Authenticity and Personal Growth

(32:53) The Joy of Laughter and Connection

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Melissa Radke

Chicken-Fried Women - Melissa’s new book

Mom’s, Dad’s and Grad’s Gift Guide

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

“But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too” (Mark 11:25 NLT)

Forgiveness is an art. We coach our kids to forgive others by modeling confession and forgiveness ourselves and by using their sibling conflicts as examples, but it takes a long time and a lot of patience. Few things are as frustrating as one child giving an apathetic, “I’m sorry” paired with an eye roll.

But forgiveness is so important because it is one of the main themes of the gospel and it’s such a powerful way to share God’s love and grace with the people around us. Just as Christ forgave us of our sins, we must forgive others! James 2:17 goes so far as to tell us that faith without deeds is dead—meaning faith that does not produce good fruit is not faith at all. So if we claim to follow Jesus, we must follow his example of forgiving others! So it is really important that our kids learn to forgive others well.

God made forgiveness an important command and the cool thing is, he did not do it haphazardly. Forgiving others releases us from grudges and resentment, but forgiveness is also good for your mental and physical health! I love the way God cares for us so intentionally! Luckily, we don’t have to forgive on our own. We can ask God for strength to help us forgive others, the way that he has forgiven us.

This week, let’s pray that our kids will generously forgive others and reconcile broken relationships.

Lord, I pray that ____________sees forgiveness and reconciliation at home and learns to do it well. May they experience a holy unrest when they sin, may they freely confess, and seek to reconcile. When others offend them, may they be quick to forgive and offer mercy. I pray they are a model of forgiveness within their friend groups so that they can show Christ’s example of forgiveness and grace to those around them. Amen.

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org

Do you have a tween? This episode is for YOU! Jonathan is one of my very favorite dads on the planet. He’s a pastor, husband, dad of one young adult, 3 teens and a one year old! You’ve heard him on Pardon The Mess before with his beautiful wife Peta Pitts as they have navigated loss together. Alena Pitts is Jonathan’s oldest daughter and someone I admire and respect so much. This father-daughter conversation is incredibly rich and entertaining.

Today’s episode is a very practical one. Alena and Jonathan offer 3 ways we can help our tweens thrive. Alena offers a unique perspective as the oldest child in the family. She looks back at what she appreciated most. Jonathan brings perspective of raising his four daughters while also managing a ministry specifically for tween girls.

My favorite part is towards the end when Jonathan encourages us to lay down all the pressures and stuff that is fleeting. How we can continue to prioritize the relationship with our kids over all the things that are fleeting.

In this episode we chat about:

• Practical ways to help your teens thrive
• Parenting introverted kids vs extroverted
• Ways to own your role as a parent in their spiritual development

Enjoy!

Courtney

(00:00) Navigating Newlywed Life

(03:01) The Joys of Parenting

(06:19) The Importance of Family Devotions

(09:48) Supporting Tweens in Community

(14:43) Building Connections Through Shared Stories

(18:16) The Role of Parents in Child Development

(20:10) Instilling Truth and Sound Doctrine

(25:48) The Importance of Fun and Lightheartedness

(32:19) Encouragement for Stressed Parents

Connect with Pardon The Mess:

Christian Parenting

Pardon The Mess

Courtney DeFeo

Get your 2024-2025 prayer journal, A Life of Faith

Resources from today’s show:

Connect with Alena

Connect with Jonathan

For Girls Like You - magazine and resources for tween girls

Jonathan and Peta Pitts episode

Moms, Dads, and Grads Gift Guide

Enjoy 20% off the For girls Like You Magazine subscription by using code: pardonthemess.

Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org