Our Dads, Music, and Memories :: Ep 18 Circling the Drain Podcast

In this deeply personal “Dads Episode,” the guys open up about the fathers who shaped their lives, careers, and love of music. From small-town country radio and booking legends like Roy Clark, to petrochemical plants, phone lines, and woodworking in retirement, each story reveals how complicated, flawed, and unforgettable dads can be.

The guys trace how certain songs became emotional landmarks—Merle Haggard concerts, Elton John story songs, and country classics about fathers and sons. They share how grief hit them when their dads passed, how music and video tributes helped them heal, and how late-in-life “I’m proud of you” moments still echo years later.

They also grapple with tougher truths: jealousy, absence, depression after loss, and generational discipline that would look very different today. Yet, through it all, there’s an undercurrent of gratitude for dads who showed love in their own ways—by working hard, building things, fixing cars, or just bringing their kids along for the ride.

Closing out, they reflect on the importance of reconciliation while there’s still time, and how politics and pride should never be allowed to permanently sever family ties.

The idea for the discussion came from Jim sharing the video he produced for his father's memorial service.

R.I.P. Justin J. McCarthy
1942-2006
https://youtu.be/XdRH-i5wt6A?si=6vveiKyDKuxq4Mh1

Timed highlights:

00:00 – Opening reflection on a complicated father who wanted the spotlight, and later pride in his kids’ careers
00:54 – Show intro: Circling the Drain sets up a special “Dads Episode”
02:20 – Gene Simmons jokes, radio banter, and shifting into the topic of dads and music
03:48 – Why there seem to be more songs about moms than dads, and the impact of absent fathers
04:10 – Classic dad songs: “Cats in the Cradle,” Waylon’s “Between Fathers and Sons,” Elton John’s AIDS story song, “The Living Years,” “Daddy’s Hands,” and more
06:10 – Johnny’s dad: country singer, radio station owner, and the man who ushered him into radio and country music
10:00 – Booking stars in the Midwest: Roy Clark, Hank Thompson, radio “appreciation shows,” and drawing 70,000 people in Kansas
12:22 – Roy Clark, Jimmy Dean, Patsy Cline’s fatal flight, and behind-the-scenes country music lore
15:19 – Growing up on small-town AM country radio; dads’ favorite artists and first concert memories with them
17:36 – Merle Haggard live in New Orleans and seeing a stoic dad finally hoop and holler
20:00 – Realizing “Dad is somebody” when Roy Clark brings him onstage to huge applause
21:13 – Mom and dad as a country duo, early radio at KMA, and the cost of dad’s jealousy on mom’s career
25:00 – Jim’s video tribute to his father and how music plus photos trigger powerful grief and healing
26:24 – Jim’s dad, Justin J. McCarthy: affection, pride, and a very different dad-son language of love
30:18 – Workaholic fathers, “Cats in the Cradle” parallels, and trying to balance work and family
31:38 – Losing mom at 16, dad’s depression and guilt, and the strain on father–son relationships
35:00 – How music bridges divides: Steve Earle, politics, and strangers getting along at shows
43:23 – “Good kid” confessions: sneaking out with the Cutlass, near accidents, and fear of disappointing dad
47:18 – Graduation night: a rare, direct “I’m proud of you” moment in the parking lot
49:44 – The “God thing”: Johnny’s last perfect evening with his dad—football, ice cream, and sudden death
53:25 – Writing and delivering eulogies, organizing thoughts through grief, and feeling dad’s approval
55:46 – Jim’s dad, multiple myeloma, the last Alaska dream trip, and choosing to stop treatment
58:45 – The handyman dads: furniture, music boxes, fixing everyone’s cars, and showing love through work
1:01:20 – Neighbors’ wreaths, mowing others’ lawns, and defying doctors after open-heart surgery
1:06:09 – Holiday tables that shrink over time and how quickly “big family” seasons vanish
1:07:02 – Families torn apart by politics and the coming regret of cutting parents off
1:08:00 – Final reflections: complicated fathers, cherished memories, and a plea to reconcile while there’s still time

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