Normalize therapy. Podcast Por Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele arte de portada

Normalize therapy.

Normalize therapy.

De: Caleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele
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 Formerly: The Marriage Podcast for Smart PeopleCaleb & Verlynda Simonyi-Gindele, 2025. For personal self-help use only. Ciencias Sociales Desarrollo Personal Hygiene & Healthy Living Psicología Psicología y Salud Mental Relaciones Éxito Personal
Episodios
  • How to Tell If You Have PTSD – The Signs You Need to Watch For

    How to Tell If You Have PTSD – The Signs You Need to Watch For
    Mar 31 2025
    Have you ever felt constantly on edge? Like no matter how much you try to relax, your body just won't let you? Maybe you struggle with sleep, feel disconnected from others as you go through daily life, or find yourself reacting to situations in a way that surprises you. It's just kind of not you. And the worst part is, you don't really know why. Today we're breaking down what PTSD looks like. We’ll discuss how it can show up in your daily life and the twelve leading signs that you may be living with unresolved trauma. We'll explore why these patterns develop, how they affect your relationships and daily experiences, and what steps you can take to start making sense of it all. To make this as helpful as possible, we will pull from our experience as therapists who work with trauma survivors. We’ll also refer to the book “The Body Keeps Score,” by trauma expert Dr. Bessel van der Kolk. Whether you've been through a major life event or a series of smaller things that have stacked up on you, if you feel like something isn't quite right, this post could give you the clarity that you've been searching for around PTSD and whether that describes what you have been experiencing. Dr. van der Kolk outlines twelve leading symptoms of complex PTSD. We're going to break these down for you here. 1. Hypervigilance The first leading symptom of PTSD is a constant feeling of unsafety and hypervigilance. Dr. van der Kolk says that patients with PTSD are always on guard. Their bodies are chronically tense and defensive as if they're still in danger now. We often see this play out in our therapy sessions. When people come in for counseling, they don’t necessarily use the word “hypervigilance.” Instead, they tend to say things like, “I’m very aware of everything that's happening around me.” They say they feel like they’re “always on watch,” they’re “very aware of others and interactions,” and that they're “always on guard.” They may also say that they “feel super awake, all the time.” Hypervigilance after betrayal: As therapists, we do a lot of work with survivors of betrayal – of infidelity or when your partner has an affair, for example. Our clients who have experienced this type of trauma often tell us that they always feel very aware of when their partner gets a text message. They're keyed right in on that little text notification. If something's a little bit off about how their partner is conducting themselves, or if their partner is two minutes late - things that would've never bothered them in the past - suddenly catch their attention. That’s hypervigilance. One of the biggest things our clients have talked about is always tracking their spouse. If their spouse is out of the home, they need to know exactly where they are at all times. And it's because they’re not feeling safe, so they have to try and make themselves feel safe in some way. Hypervigilance after medical trauma: People can experience hypervigilance around medical traumas as well. Just the other day, we observed a parent whose child went through a major prolonged illness that involved immense hopelessness and fear of losing the child. Thank God, the child did recover and everybody's doing great today physically. But this parent expressed feeling that same hypervigilance and alertness even today, even though the child is healthy. It’s been quite some time of decent health, and the child’s health is getting better all the time. And still, if there's anything off about her – if she has a little cough or something, this parent is right on it. That's an example of hypervigilance in a medical and familial context. That is one of the characteristics of PTSD. Show Yourself Compassion We want to encourage you to have compassion for yourself if you're experiencing hypervigilance. This is happening because your nervous system and your body went through a very dangerous situation. Whether the danger was about you or someone dear to you,
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    30 m
  • Five Fundamentals of Good Marriage Communication

    Five Fundamentals of Good Marriage Communication
    Mar 19 2025
    Have you ever had a conversation with your spouse where you just couldn’t get through to them? You’re trying to explain something, but they’re either not listening or completely misunderstanding you. Or maybe a small miscommunication turned into a bigger argument, leaving you wondering, “What just happened?” Here, we break down the five key fundamentals that make marriage communication strong, clear, and full of love. We talk about how to truly understand each other, create a safe space for honest conversations, and build deeper trust in your relationship. We also give you a few exercises you can do today to strengthen your marriage connection. Whether you’re newly married or have been together for years, these five fundamentals can transform the way you and your spouse communicate. Empathy and Understanding: The Foundation of Connection The first key to strong marriage communication is empathy and understanding. This is the foundation of communication. We like this quote by Montgomery: The goal of quality communication is the achievement and maintenance of interpersonal understanding.[i] In other words, the reason we communicate at all is so we can understand each other. We want to get to a place of understanding and stay in a place of understanding. Let’s take a close look at empathy. What Is Empathy? An easy definition of empathy that we like is this: “When I stand in your shoes and look at the world through your lens, through whatever you’re experiencing… when I put myself in that place…it makes sense that you feel what you do.” When we work with couples, there’s one phrase we use a lot: “It makes sense.” This is a basic affirmation of reality. It’s a way of expressing empathy. It doesn’t mean that you agree with everything they say. It’s understanding: “If I were in your shoes, having walked to this point, I would be reacting the same way; your reaction makes sense.” The 3 Components of Empathy There is a widely accepted conceptualization of empathy that says it has three main components.[ii] They are cognitive, emotional, and motivational. Let’s talk about these. Cognitive empathy: The first is called cognitive empathy, which is just the recognition and understanding of the emotional states of others. So, in my brain, I’m aware that you are having sadness right now because there are tears coming down. Cognitive empathy is that attention and awareness of what your spouse is experiencing. We call that attunement in other kinds of therapy. Emotional empathy: The second component is emotional empathy. This part of empathy is experience sharing. It means that I share your emotion. I still maintain a distinction between myself and you, but I share in what you are experiencing and feeling. Our readers who are empaths sometimes may have to remind themselves that there is that distinction between self and other. So, if you’re upset about something that happened at work, I don’t have to go storming into your office to solve the problem on your behalf. Instead, I get upset alongside you, I see that your reaction makes sense, and I feel the upset, but I know there is a distinction between self and other. Motivational empathy: The third component of empathy is motivational empathy. This is also known as empathic care. Motivational empathy is having feelings of concern for the other and having a willingness to put effort into improving their well-being. If I have empathy for you, it’s motivating me to do something to care for you. Now, sometimes we harp on men a little bit when we do seminars. Sometimes men tend to rush to solutions. That’s motivational empathy, sure, but this problem-solving part is at the back of the list. Men often jump straight to “I’m concerned about you and I want to help you solve this.” But, timing is important with this. Before jumping to solve the problem, it’s important to first join your spouse in the emotional experience, notice, and validate.
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    30 m
  • NEWS RELEASE: Life Update for Caleb & Verlynda, plus rebranding and new shows coming!

    NEWS RELEASE: Life Update for Caleb & Verlynda, plus rebranding and new shows coming!
    Mar 12 2025
    We discuss our personal experiences, including burnout, career changes, and coping with the pandemic. The episode covers the transition from our old OnlyYouForever brand to the new Therapevo Counselling brand, highlighting the expanded focus on diverse counseling topics and services. We also touch on rebranding the podcast to 'Normalize therapy.' and adding a new YouTube channel. We talk about upcoming content and plans to expand our social media presence and blogging.
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    18 m
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