In this episode, I sit down with Jenna Riemersma to talk about something I believe many men in porn addiction recovery need to understand: the role painful emotions play in keeping us stuck.

Most men trying to overcome porn addiction think the answer is more discipline, control, and resistance. But in my own life and in the lives of the men I work with, I’ve seen that the deeper issue is often not just lust. It’s emotional pain. It’s shame, loneliness, fear, pressure, self-sabotage, and the inner burdens we keep trying to escape. Porn becomes a fast way to numb, soothe, distract, or feel relief—but it never heals the deeper wound.

That’s why this conversation with Jenna is so powerful. Jenna is a CSAT supervisor, IFS therapist, and the author of Move Toward. In this episode, we explore how Internal Family Systems, also known as parts work, can help men understand their porn addiction triggers, respond to relapse differently, and begin real emotional healing instead of just fighting symptoms. We talk about why shame and porn addiction are deeply connected, how self-sabotage works in recovery, why painful emotions are not the enemy, and how healing begins when we stop running from what hurts and start moving toward it with courage and compassion.

We also break down Jenna’s simple but powerful framework: Notice, Know, Need. This gives men a practical tool to use in real time when they feel triggered, overwhelmed, ashamed, lonely, or pulled toward porn. Instead of staying trapped in the old cycle of urge, escape, and regret, this framework helps us slow down, understand what is happening inside, and meet our real needs in healthier ways.

Learn more about Jenna Riemersma:

• Website
• Free Guided Move Toward Meditations

Books:

• Move Toward
• Altogether You
• IFS Integration

Workshop:

• On-Demand Workshop for Altogether You — Get 15% off Jenna's workshop with discount code: AY15

Link to Blog Article for this Episode

Visit No More Desire Tools for Recovery for recovery tools and training, including my free eBook, Workshop, The RAIL Method ™ and more to help you break free from porn.

If you’re tired of trying to quit porn on your own, the No More Desire Academy gives you a structured path to recovery through coaching, brotherhood, practical tools, and step-by-step training. Join before May 1st to lock in the $130/month Founding Member rate. Learn more here.

If you want deeper, more personalized support, I also offer 1-on-1 porn addiction recovery coaching. We’ll work directly on your patterns, emotional triggers, recovery plan, and long-term growth. Apply here to explore coaching with Jake Kastleman.

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Most men think porn addiction is a discipline problem.

They believe that if they could just be stronger, more focused, more in control… they would finally quit porn and break free from the cycle of relapse.

But what if that’s not the real problem?

What if your cravings for porn aren’t just psychological… but biological?

In this episode, I break down one of the most overlooked drivers of porn addiction recovery: gut health. We dive deep into the gut-brain connection and how your microbiome, nutrition, and nervous system are directly influencing your porn cravings, your dopamine response, and your ability to actually follow through on the man you want to be.

Because here’s the truth most men have never been taught:

You don’t just relapse because you lack discipline.
You relapse because your system is dysregulated.

When your body is inflamed, your blood sugar is unstable, your brain is undernourished, and your nervous system is overwhelmed… your mind will look for relief. And for many of us, porn has become that default.

This episode will help you understand:

• why porn addiction is not just a mental battle
• how gut health affects addiction and emotional regulation
• the role of dopamine, inflammation, and brain fog in relapse
• how your daily nutrition is either fueling your recovery… or working against it

We’ll also talk about how to reduce porn cravings naturally, how to stabilize your system through simple lifestyle changes, and why building a healthy body is one of the most powerful ways to overcome porn addiction long-term.

This is not about perfection or extreme diets.

This is about learning how to support your biology so your recovery becomes sustainable.

Because when your body is working with you instead of against you… everything changes.

Link to Blog Article for this Episode

Visit nomoredesire.com/tools for recovery tools and training, including my free eBook, Workshop, The RAIL Method ™ and more to help you break free from porn.

For community support, you can Join the April Challenge. During April, the NMD Brotherhood is learning to stabilize the brain, improve energy, and decrease urges through simple daily nutrition habits.

If you'd like to understand the neuroscience of using nutrition to fuel recovery, and get step-by-step exercises, learn more about The Gut-Brain Protocol Online Course (Use code "APRILCHALLENGE" for 15% off).

And finally, if you're serious and ready to commit, join the No More Desire ™ Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program with group coaching, coursework, online support, and recovery skill-building.

Support the show

No More Desire

Most men think porn addiction is about lust.

Or a lack of discipline.

Or having a “high sex drive” they can’t control.

But after years of working with men—and walking through my own recovery—I’ve come to see something very clearly:

Porn addiction is rarely about sex.

It’s about what’s underneath.

It’s about trauma, emotional pain, conditioning, and the patterns your brain learned long before you ever realized there was a problem.

In this episode, I sit down with Patrick Devosse, author of Reborn and founder of the Reborn Method, to unpack the deeper psychological and neurological roots of pornography addiction—and what it actually takes to break free.

Patrick shares his personal story of childhood trauma, emotional suppression, and how those experiences shaped his addiction. We talk about what he calls your “addiction birthday”—the moment your brain first learned to use porn as a coping mechanism—and how that pattern gets wired into your identity over time.

We also dive into the neuroscience of porn addiction, including how dopamine conditioning reinforces the cycle, why pornography can feel so powerful, and how your brain learns to associate porn with emotional relief.

But more importantly, we get into what actually works.

Not surface-level advice.

Not just “try harder” or “be more disciplined.”

We talk about emotional regulation, self-awareness, and how to begin understanding the deeper patterns that drive your behavior. We break down why urges are not the problem—but signals—and how learning to work with them instead of fighting them can completely change your recovery.

If you’ve ever asked yourself, “Why am I addicted to porn?” or “Why can’t I stop?”—this episode will give you clarity.

More than that, it will give you direction.

Overcoming porn addiction is not about becoming more disciplined.

It’s about becoming more aware.

It’s about understanding yourself.

And it’s about learning how to lead your life from a place of strength instead of escape.

Link to Blog Article for this Episode

Want to explore more of Patrick’s work and the Reborn Method?

Reborn Website
Reborn Official Instagram

Visit nomoredesire.com/tools for recovery tools and training, including my free eBook, Workshop, The RAIL Method ™ and more to help you break free from porn.

For community support, you can Join the April Challenge. During April, the NMD Brotherhood is learning to stabilize the brain, improve energy, and decrease urges through simple daily nutrition habits.

If you'd like to understand the neuroscience of using nutrition to fuel recovery, and get step-by-step exercises, learn more about The Gut-Brain Protocol Online Course (Use code "APRILCHALLENGE" for 15% off).

And finally, if you're serious and ready to commit, join the No More Desire ™ Intensive Porn Addiction Recovery Coaching Program with group coaching, coursework, online support, and recovery skill-building.

Support the show

No More Desire