What do you do when the community you spent years crafting falls apart? As we pick up the pieces wrought by the war that has been our experience with the pandemic, Long COVID, and our community's response to both, we assess where and how things went wrong and how we might begin to rebuild. Good thing Amy's done lots of research on these topics - and that there's a whole new generation doing things differently that we can learn from!

REBUILDING OUR VILLAGE

When I interviewed childfree adults for my ⁠book⁠, I learned that many nonparents form intentional communities around which they build their lives. Lance and I are no different. We settled in Bangor, Maine intending to stay here as we age. Eventually, we presumed, we’d die here.

Over the years, our local network grew thanks to considered, intentional effort. We put real blood, sweat, tears, love, and resources into this wickedly wacky, absolutely lovable little city these past couple of decades. As a result, we’ve moved past the daily reminders that we are “from away” to feeling fully embraced. Never have I loved a place more deeply. Never have I felt more HOME.

Continues at ⁠https://amyblackstonephd.substack.com/p/rebuilding-our-village⁠

CITED IN THIS EPISODE

1. Blackstone, Amy. ⁠Childfree by Choice⁠: The Movement Redefining Family and Creating a New Age of Independence. New York: Dutton.
2. Gardner, Susan K. and Amy Blackstone. 2015, 2023. “Confronting Faculty Incivility and Mobbing,” in ⁠Disrupting the Culture of Silence⁠: Confronting Gender Inequality and Making Change in Higher Education, edited by Kris De Welde and Andi Stepnick. New York: Routledge.
3. Johns Hopkins University: ⁠Gen Z In The Workplace⁠
4. Stanford University: ⁠8 ways Gen Z will change the workforce⁠
5. West, Kath. 1991, 1997. ⁠Families We Choose⁠: Lesbians, Gays, Kinship. New York: Columbia University Press.
6. Amy's 2019 NYT OpEd: ⁠Grow Old Like the Golden Girls⁠

Forget about silver linings; midnight blue is where it's at. This week, Amy confronts her old habit of grasping for silver linings and considers a different, more nuanced approach (and color) along with lessons learned from life in a chronically ill body. Together, Lance and Amy discuss how they think about silver linings and how they find meaning when things seem to happen for no reason at all.

THE BUCKET FORMERLY KNOWN AS SILVER LININGS

“This sort of thing is old hat for me and I'm a huge silver linings person. I'm really just looking for help coping with my current condition and celebrating what I'm learning from it.”

And so began the latest in my decades-long series of relationships where I bare all of my most humiliating truths, the ugliest bits that make it hard for even me to face myself after revealing them. I have sometimes revealed these truths within mere minutes of first meeting said compadre and they STILL look me in the eye after I’ve divulged the unsightliness within me. They look with compassion even.

I'm talking about THERAPY. Said compadre is my THERAPIST. There, I said it.

Continues at ⁠https://amyblackstonephd.substack.com/p/the-bucket-formerly-known-as-silver⁠

CITED IN THIS EPISODE

1. Marishelle Lieberwerth and Alistair Niemeijer. “Lost and changed meaning in life of people with Long Covid: a qualitative study.” 2024. INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF QUALITATIVE STUDIES ON HEALTH AND WELL-BEING VOL. 19, 2289668 ⁠https://doi.org/10.1080/17482631.2023.2289668⁠
2. Anna M. Carapellotti, Hannie (J.E.M.) Meijerink, Christine Gravemaker-Scott, Lucia Thielman, Renée Kool, Natalie Lewin, and Tineke A. Abma. 2023. “Escape, expand, embrace: the transformational lived experience of rediscovering the self and the other while dancing with Parkinson’s or Multiple Sclerosis.” INTERNATIONAL JOURNAL OF QUALITATIVE STUDIES ON HEALTH AND WELL-BEING VOL. 18, 2143611 ⁠https://doi.org/10.1080/17482631.2022.2143611⁠

Amy is delivering a special form of torture to Lance this week and we're discussing all things Bravo. Bravo, Bravo, f'ing Bravo! Amy shares how the 'wives have helped her cope with the challenges of chronic illness and we consider the impact and possibilities of reality TV more broadly - all while enjoying some pink bubbly, in honor of the real housewives, of course.

HEALING WITH THE HOUSEWIVES

My name is Amy. I am a sociologist and I have a Ph.D. and I like to think I’m reasonably smart and I believe that wealth is distributed in ALL the wrong ways in my home country of the U.S. of A. I am a raging feminist and damn proud of it. I believe the propagation of MAGA beliefs is mostly the result of widespread inequality, abuse of power, corporate monopolization, and crippling fear.

And. Wait for it. I love Bravo. The network where wealth is flaunted in all the dumbest ways. The network whose roster of stars includes dingdongs who will charter four private planes to Puerto Rico to deliver $50 gift cards to the people, as long as they can catch it on camera. This IS a crisis, after all...

Continues at ⁠https://amyblackstonephd.substack.com/p/8c9f81f1-0049-449c-a10e-0a1a16e3d0b2⁠

CITED IN THIS EPISODE

Branco, Susan F. 2025. "Teaching while Streaming: Adult Adoptee Themes in the Real Housewives Reality Series." Family Journal 33(2):244-247. doi: ⁠Teaching While Streaming: Adult Adoptee Themes in The Real Housewives Reality Series - Susan F. Branco, 2025⁠ .