Navigating the Teen Years: Building Connection and Independence at Home

Curious if OT could help your child's struggles? Download Why Choose OT to find out! I am joined by Ivan Hardcastle, an experienced occupational therapist and parent coach from Idaho with nearly two decades of expertise. Ivan shares his journey from therapy rooms to parent coaching, highlighting the powerful impact that empowered, informed parents can have on their children’s development especially in the teen years. We take a deep dive into the realities of adolescence, busting the myth that the teenage years are doomed to chaos and disconnection. Instead, Ivan reframes teens’ push for independence as a natural, beautiful part of development. The episode is full of practical wisdom on supporting teens’ changing brains and bodies, managing explosive emotions, and fostering respectful, connected family relationships. With stories from his own family and actionable strategies, including how to balance boundaries with autonomy and why modeling self-care matters, Ivan equips parents to engage their teens with confidence and compassion. In this episode you'll hear about: Ivan’s experience as a pediatric occupational therapist in IdahoMotivation for moving into parent coachingThe critical impact of parent involvement in therapy outcomesTransformation of home environments when parents are engagedParenting Teenagers: Changing PerspectivesCommon stigmas and negative perceptions about parenting teensSarah’s positive experiences with her own teenagersRecognition that parenting teens can be challenging but also rewardingTeen Development: What’s Really Happening?Physical, emotional, and neurological changes in adolescenceThe drive for independence and how it manifests as “rebellion” or “angst”The necessity of teens developing their own skill sets and opinionsIvan’s observations with his own children’s developmentReframing Teen Independence and Emotional GrowthRecognizing the beauty and necessity of teens seeking independenceUnderstanding emotional reactions as part of healthy brain developmentThe importance of parents’ attitudes toward these changesParental Self-Reflection and GrowthThe challenge and opportunity for parents to adapt their approachesAwareness that parents themselves are continually “growing up”Emphasizing lifelong learning by modeling adaptability for kidsThe Generational Gap & Today’s Teen ExperienceDifferences between parenting in the past (e.g., the 1990s) and todayAcknowledgment of new pressures teens face (technology, social media, societal change)Recognizing that today’s environment presents unique challengesParents and teens both doing their best with available resourcesParents identifying and utilizing support systemsBridging the gap between parents and teens to foster success togetherRisks of being too authoritarian (overly directive) or too hands-offThe goal of finding a middle ground—modeling and invitationThe significance of parental emotional regulation and self-awarenessHow parents’ emotional states affect teensThe Value of Modeling Rest and MindfulnessChallenging cultural norms equating “busyness” with worthThe importance of modeling self-care, rest, and mindfulness for teensEmbracing a “full” life over a “busy” lifePractical Strategies for Connection and CollaborationUsing chore charts and shifting from commands to invitationsImplementing “notice and respond” approaches to household responsibilitiesPersonal examples of increasing teen ownership/responsibilityDedication to preserving and growing the parent-teen bondCreating Opportunities for One-on-One ConnectionScheduling individual time with each child (e.g., “daddy-daughter dates”)Adapting activities to each child’s personality and interestsUsing special routines (like sushi outings or art sessions) for deeper connectionFostering Sibling RelationshipsIntentional creation of spaces for siblings to connectRotating opportunities for family members to interact one-on-oneThe importance of sibling bonds alongside parent-child relationships Links and Resources From Today's Show Why Should I Seek Occupational Therapy?Connect with Sarah Collins on IGGames That Teach Executive FunctionExecutive Functioning For Teens Course Insights To Reaching And Teaching TeenagersTips For Communicating With Your TeenConnect With Ivan On FacebookConnect With Ivan On IG Connect With Ivan On TiktokIvan's WebsiteEpisode 11: Exploring Unique Learning Paths in Homeschooling with Guest Amy BodkinEpisode 15: From Morning to Night: Incorporating Social Emotional Learning in Homeschool Episode 19: Understanding Screen Time Effects on Children's Development and RelationshipsEpisode 27: Preserving Childhood in a Digital World: Greta Eskridge's Expertise for Families Episode 54: Strengthening Executive Functions through Play: Insights from Carol Brown of Equipping Minds Episode 62: 62 Strategies for Enhancing Cognitive Skills in Children Connect With Our Guest, Ivan Hardcastle, OTR/L Ivan ...