Navigating the Do's and Don'ts of Modern Day Wedding Etiquette

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The golden rule of etiquette isn't what you learned in school. As Dina Schmid of Queen City Etiquette explains to Kathy Piech-Lukas of Your Dream Day, true etiquette means finding out how others want to be treated—and then doing exactly that. This principle becomes especially crucial when planning a wedding, where guests ranging from toddlers to grandparents bring different expectations and needs.

Throughout our conversation, we unravel the often-confused concepts of tradition versus etiquette. While traditions are simply repeated practices (like smearing cake in your partner's face), etiquette focuses on creating comfort. That distinction helps navigate thorny issues like adult-only receptions, where Dina offers a masterclass in handling awkward situations with grace. Her advice for dealing with guests who RSVP with uninvited children? A direct phone call offering solutions demonstrates both boundary-setting and consideration.

Communication emerges as the cornerstone of wedding etiquette. Whether it's clearly stating that a reception has a cash bar, providing hotel block options at different price points, or sending timely thank you notes that specifically mention each gift received, thoughtful communication prevents the uncomfortable surprises that can dampen celebrations. We also explore the evolution of wedding traditions, from RSVP cards (once considered insulting!) to modern QR codes, and how etiquette adapts alongside these changes.

Dina shares fascinating insights into dress codes, from the ultra-formal white tie (think gloves and tuxedos with tails) to casual themes, while cautioning against the trending practice of dictating guest color schemes. Her parting wisdom captures the essence of wedding planning perfectly: "It's okay to break tradition, but it's not okay to break etiquette." By focusing on what makes your guests comfortable while staying true to your vision, you'll create a celebration that honors both tradition and consideration—setting the perfect tone for your marriage.

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