This week on Nate Knows Nothing, I recap a Mother’s Day weekend that included my mom and my mother-in-law watching me do stand-up, so, no pressure there.

Meanwhile, teenagers are lighting Chromebooks on fire in school bathrooms as part of the viral #ChromebookChallenge, because nothing says “future leaders” like burning laptops for clout.

Over in the sports world, Chelsea’s Cole Palmer thinks 100 versions of himself could beat up a gorilla if enough of them die first. Makes sense. One guy discovered grass growing out of his bedroom carpet, thanks to some birdseed, a space heater, and what I can only assume is a cursed lease.

In New York, a man has turned himself into a human rug and invites strangers to walk on him. Performance art or untreated trauma? You decide. Finally, a woman’s bad day turned around when a stranger pulled up next to her at a stoplight and introduced her to his fashion-forward baby goats wearing Burberry harnesses.

It’s a weird one this week. Dumber than usual, in all the best ways.

This week on Nate Knows Nothing: I got a haircut and instantly regretted it, there’s a new pope from Chicago (allegedly), and a college student tried to climb Mt. Fuji like it was a treadmill at Planet Fitness. We’re talking robot waiters in Havana, a cruise ship bomb threat that somehow made Florida more Florida, and why no one should ever trust me with scissors or plans.

Plus: I’m live at The Den Theatre in Chicago this Saturday — don’t miss it (and please don’t call in fake threats if you’re running late).

This week, I talk about how much of an idiot I am, which, honestly, could be the theme every week. Then I get into the NBA playoffs and how basketball, while fun to watch, is kind of a ridiculous sport when you really think about it.

It’s a mix of personal rambling, light sports commentary, and the usual amount of unnecessary overthinking. If you like jokes with a side of existential dread and hot takes that are more lukewarm, this episode’s for you.

Listen now on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts—and hit that follow button so I can keep yelling into the void.