Have you ever left a job feeling like a shell of yourself—anxious, exhausted, second-guessing everything, and unsure how it got so bad?

In this episode of Narcissism at Work, Leyya and Clinical Psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani explore the deep, often invisible toll that narcissistic abuse takes on the body and mind. From chronic stress and anxiety to adrenal fatigue and disconnection from self, this conversation unpacks the nuanced psychological and physical fallout of being in close proximity to narcissists.

You’ll hear why these symptoms often go unnoticed or are misdiagnosed, how survivors become stuck in fight, flight and freeze responses, and how trauma-informed tools like ACT therapy can help people reclaim their power and rebuild trust in their own bodies. The episode also offers practical first steps for anyone currently trapped in a toxic job or relationship dynamic

• WHO (World Health Organisation)
• Polyvagal Theory (Stephen Porges)
• ACT Therapy (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
• Internal Family Systems (IFS)
• EMDR Therapy (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) for trauma release
• The “STUF” Framework from ACT(Sensations, Thoughts, Urges, Feelings)

“They will feed your fears and position themselves as the only person who can help you get what you need.” – Dr. Daksha Hirani

“I’ve always seen myself as a strong, brave, competent person. I couldn’t understand how I let it get so bad. But now I realise it’s not about weakness, it’s about how expertly these people play on our C.R.A.P. and target people for their strengths, NOT weaknesses.” – Leyya Sattar

Why it matters:

Far too many people endure chronic stress and trauma at work without naming it for what it truly is: abuse. When the harm is coming from someone charismatic, successful, or in a position of power, it often gets minimised or normalised leaving targets anxious, burned out, and disconnected from their sense of reality and self.

This episode breaks that silence. It gives language, context, and validation to what many have wrongly dismissed as “just work stress.” It reframes healing not as a return to who you were, but as a reclamation of agency…one that starts in the body, rewires the nervous system, and reconnects you to your core values.

For anyone stuck in a toxic workplace, questioning their gut, or simply feeling “off,” this episode offers both clarity and direction. It’s a map back to yourself.

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If this episode resonated with you:

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You can connect with Other Box: otherbox.co/podcast for further resources.

Narcissism At Work is a co-production from Other Box and Breaking Atoms. Please make sure to subscribe, rate and share too!

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In this Listener Letter, we hear from Hannah, a former employee who found herself working under the same narcissistic CEO twice, a decade apart.

At first, she returned believing things would be different. But what followed was an extreme environment of control, gaslighting, public humiliation, and 24/7 surveillance dressed up as “remote flexibility.”

From forced video calls all day long, to aggressive outbursts, retaliation for speaking up, and weaponising therapy-speak to silence disagreement, this story is a chilling reminder of how narcissistic leadership infects a company’s entire culture.

Expert Insight

Clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani offers deep, trauma-informed insight into:

• How narcissistic leaders use image management, fear and false morality to maintain power
• Why they target high performers, and punish anyone who exposes the truth
• The nervous system toll of long-term psychological abuse at work
• How to manage anxiety and emotional safety when you can’t just leave
• What to do when you’re dealing with someone who will never be accountable

Key themes

• Performative values and moral grandstanding by toxic leaders
• Psychological manipulation disguised as professional development
• Surveillance, control, and digital coercion in remote work
• Blame-shifting, retaliation, and long-term trauma

Why this episode matters

Hannah’s experience reveals that sometimes, it’s not just the outbursts or gaslighting that do the most damage; it’s the slow erosion of trust in yourself. The fear. The second-guessing. The quiet shrinking.

For anyone who’s ever frozen when a Slack message popped up, stayed silent in meetings to avoid punishment, or delayed updating LinkedIn out of fear, this episode offers solidarity, clarity, and a path forward.

Bonus episodes

Listener Letters are real stories submitted by the Other Box community, sharing lived experiences of navigating toxic workplaces and narcissistic dynamics. Each letter is anonymised, read aloud, and followed by expert insight from clinical psychologist Dr. Daksha Hirani. Together, we unpack the behavioural patterns at play and share tools for clarity, support and recovery.

We hope these real-life accounts allow you to recognise the signs sooner and start focusing on how to reclaim your life.

Support the Podcast

If this episode resonated with you:

• Subscribe and leave us a review
• Share with friends, family, or colleagues
• Follow us on socials for more insights and behind-the-scenes content (@otherbox)

You can connect with Other Box: otherbox.co/podcast for further resources.

Narcissism At Work is a co-production from Other Box and Breaking Atoms. Subscribe to get new episodes as soon as they drop.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you ever dealt with an HR team that protects toxic leaders and silences the people they hurt? In this episode of Narcissism at Work, we explore how narcissism can show up not just in individuals but in entire systems. From performative DEI to HR structures that enable abuse, we unpack how power and progressive language can be used as tools of control. While many HR teams do great work, we’re focusing on what happens when that’s not the case.

This week, I’m joined by Dr. Daksha Hirani and special guest Raakhi, Other Box’s HR consultant, to explore what happens when toxicity becomes institutionalised and what needs to change.

What we cover:

• Why harmful behaviours often go unchallenged, especially when "golden" employees bring in revenue or hold a high status.
• The myth of HR neutrality and how internalised fear can prevent necessary action.
• The role of NDAs and settlement agreements in silencing victims.
• How narcissists exploit race, gender, neurodivergence, and other identities for performative allyship.
• How to spot red flags in leaders and avoid becoming a “flying monkey.”
• The importance of documentation, pattern recognition, and building peer support.
• Tools like S.T.U.F. (Sensations, Thoughts, Urges, Feelings) to reconnect with your truth.

References and Frameworks Mentioned

• CRAP: (Criticism, Rejection, Abandonment, Punishment) core fears exploited in narcissistic abuse.
• FOG: (Fear, Obligation, Guilt) tactics used by narcissists to manipulate.
• S.T.U.F: (Sensations, Thoughts, Urges, Feelings) a self-awareness tool to ground yourself in reality.
• "Flying Monkeys": Narcissistic abuse term for bystanders who unknowingly enable the abuser.

Quote Highlights

• “Your workplace culture is your reputation.” Raakhi Tanvi
• “You are not making this S.T.U.F up. You know what you know.” Dr. Daksha Hirani
• “Even if you can’t name names, you can still speak your truth.” Leyya Sattar

Why it matters:

HR is often positioned as the safeguard of workplace wellbeing, yet too often, it becomes the buffer that protects toxic leaders and colleagues instead of the people they harm. When toxicity infiltrates HR, the very systems meant to ensure fairness, safety, and accountability can end up enabling abuse and silencing staff. By exploring this tension, we wanted to show how systemic narcissism hides in plain sight and what needs to shift to rebuild trust, integrity, and actual inclusion at work.

Support the Podcast

If this episode resonated with you:

• Subscribe and leave us a review
• Share with friends, family, or colleagues
• Follow us on socials for more insights and behind-the-scenes content (@otherbox)

You can connect with Other Box: otherbox.co/podcast for further resources

Narcissism At Work is a co-production from Other Box and Breaking Atoms. Subscribe to get new episodes as soon as they drop.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.