NTM 544: When Sex Feels Like One More Job: Christmas, Exhaustion & the Loss of Erotic Self

The post-Christmas crash can leave many women feeling not just tired, but disconnected — from their bodies, their partners, and their erotic selves. In this deeply relieving episode, Julie and Bridget explore how the adrenaline of December masks exhaustion until it drops, and why that comedown so often shows up as sexual shutdown. They gently dismantle the myth that intimacy requires energy women simply don’t have at this time of year, and explore what it looks like to reconnect without pressure, performance, or guilt. This conversation reframes low libido not as a relationship problem, but as an intelligent signal of depletion, mental load, and modern motherhood…and offers a softer, more honest pathway back to connection.

In this episode we discuss:

- Why the post-Christmas adrenaline crash often brings emotional and sexual disconnection

- How modern motherhood, constant vigilance, and over-functioning contribute to sexual shutdown

- Why Christmas and January amplify “roommate mode” in long-term relationships

- The link between mental load, resentment, and loss of erotic aliveness

- Why low libido is usually a symptom; not the problem itself

- How women’s bodies move into protection when overloaded or depleted

- Why many women confuse loss of desire with loss of love

- How arousal is contextual and relational; not a random internal drive

- The difference between erotic aliveness and sexual performance

- How pressure (even loving pressure) quietly kills arousal

- Why fixing sex by focusing on sex often backfires

- The power of noticing and appreciating everyday contributions in a relationship

- Small, genuine interactions that reduce resentment and rebuild connection

- Ways couples can stay connected that aren’t about sex — but often lead back to it

Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub


Reach out to Bridget for 1:1 coaching - bridgetwood.life