NTM 538: The Guilt Trap: Why Good Mums Feel Bad

If guilt were cardio, every mum would be an Olympian. But what if guilt isn’t proof you’re failing — it’s proof you care? In this episode, we unpack the emotional weight mothers carry and how “mum guilt” has become a badge of honour we never asked for. From the cultural conditioning that tells us a good mother should give everything, to the quiet courage it takes to choose ourselves without crumbling under judgement, we explore how to move from guilt as punishment to guilt as guidance. You’ll learn how to stay anchored in your own truth, meet your children’s reflections with grace, and reclaim a version of motherhood that’s values-led, not shame-fuelled.

In this episode we discuss:
• How guilt has become the default emotional setting for modern mothers.
• The difference between guilt as a values compass and guilt as a shame loop.
• When your child says “how can you choose work/friends/yourself over me!” and how to stay calm and anchored instead of defensive or withdrawn.
• The courage to be disliked without closing, contorting, or hardening.
• Shifting from external validation to self-anchoring: defining your worth from within.
• Seeing guilt as a lopsided perception; finding the other side and asking, “Do I need to feel guilty here?”
• How to tell when guilt signals a values misalignment versus when you’re actually in alignment.
• The patriarchal version of the “good mother” versus the archetypal mother, and which one you’re subscribing to.
• How to meet guilt with curiosity, compassion, and objectivity instead of criticism.

Want support on this journey? Come join us inside Honey Club - where we melt these blocks together, one breath, one practice, one deep remembering at a time. Find out more at julietenner.love or visit: https://julie-tenner.newzenler.com/courses/honeyclub


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