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In this unforgettable episode, we're revisiting a conversation that blew our minds—and helped reframe everything we thought we knew about ADHD, motherhood, and what it means to be “too much.”

Tracy Otsuka is the host of the wildly popular ADHD for Smart Ass Women podcast and author of the book by the same name. A former attorney and certified ADHD coach, Tracy has become a global voice for women who are tired of being pathologized—and ready to celebrate what makes them different.

In this conversation, we cover:

• Why ADHD in women is often misunderstood, masked, and misdiagnosed
• How “smart girl syndrome” leads to high achievement—and high self-doubt
• The difference between the default mode network (DMN) and task positive network (TPN), and why they matter so much to ADHD brains
• The real reason motherhood can feel like Groundhog Day for women with ADHD
• How to get out of your head and into aligned action
• The truth about trauma, shame, and learned helplessness in ADHD women
• Why perfectionism and creativity often co-exist in neurodivergent women
• How Tracy’s approach brings humor, empowerment, and healing to thousands of women

This isn’t just a conversation—it’s a reframe. If you’ve ever felt like the “too much” girl who couldn’t keep up with motherhood, or like you’re sitting on a pile of potential you just can’t access, this episode is for you.

Featured Guest:
Tracy Otsuka is a certified ADHD coach, former SEC attorney, and the creator of the ADHD for Smart Ass Women podcast and book. Her podcast has over 5 million downloads and reaches listeners in 160 countries. She’s been featured in Forbes, ADDitude Magazine, and The Goal Digger Podcast, and moderates a Facebook group with nearly 100,000 members.

Resources & Mentions:

• Tracy Otsuka’s Podcast: ADHD for Smart Ass Women
• Dr. Sharon Saline
• Dr. Christine Li (The Procrastination Coach)

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Steph sits down with writer, academic, and fellow ADHD-er Wendy Robinson to talk about how she wrote an entire novel in six months—while working full time and managing ADHD. This is a must-listen whether you're a writer, a creative, or just someone juggling a big project with a neurodivergent brain. Spoiler: it’s not about willpower—it’s about systems, self-compassion, and knowing your brain.

• Wendy wrote her novel in 6 months (!), thanks to structure, support, and knowing what works for her ADHD brain.
• They talk about the real executive functioning challenges that come with ADHD and how women especially are impacted.
• Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) is real and so relatable—especially when launching creative work into the world.
• Steph and Wendy bond over the “good girl” ADHD diagnosis story—how so many women go undiagnosed because they weren’t disruptive, just “daydreamy” and perfectionistic.
• Wendy shares her systems for getting big projects done: think writing retreats, body doubling at coffee shops, and her trusty “go bag.”
• The Parking Lot and Forward Only strategies are game-changers for staying focused and avoiding perfection paralysis.
• Why many ADHD women procrastinate by being too productive—but only for other people.
• Writing accountability groups are magic. External motivation > internal guilt.
• How Wendy redefined success: It’s not about the book deal. It’s about keeping promises to yourself and finishing the damn manuscript.
• Substack, querying, and how to cope when rejection stings like a wasp.
• “You don’t have to do it. But you’ll regret it if you don’t.” —On choosing your pain and finishing creative work.
  
  🧠 Quote of the Episode:
  “You’re seeing the scaffolding, not the reason the scaffolding is there.” — Wendy, on why high-functioning ADHD can still be deeply challenging.
  
  Wendy Robinson is a writer and higher ed nerd. In addition to working on a novel, she writes personal essays about parenting, life as a woman in middle age, pop culture, and more at her Substack Open Water (https://wendyrobinson.substack.com/).
• She also writes about all things higher education with a focus on the college admissions and financial aid processes to help parents of high school students feel less stressed at her other Substack, College Sanity (https://collegesanity.substack.com/).

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This replay features one of the most pivotal episodes in the history of the Mother Plus Podcast—a conversation that sparked a major shift in the show’s direction.

In this episode, hosts Stacey and Steph sit down with licensed clinical mental health counselor Leah Barnes to explore what ADHD actually looks like in adult women, especially mothers. At the time, they were just beginning to uncover how different ADHD presents in women—and how often it goes undiagnosed or misunderstood. The response to this episode was overwhelming, with listeners flooding their inboxes saying, “I’ve never felt so understood.”

This powerful conversation helped launch a deep dive into ADHD in women, eventually leading to interviews with top experts including psychologists, hormone specialists, coaches, and authors. But this episode? This is where it all started.

Topics discussed in this episode include:

• Why ADHD symptoms in women are often overlooked or misdiagnosed
• The emotional toll of masking, perfectionism, and people-pleasing
• How motherhood intensifies executive function struggles
• The shame spiral of unfinished tasks and sensory overload
• Why recognizing and naming ADHD can be profoundly healing

If you've ever wondered why simple things feel impossibly hard—or why you constantly feel like you're falling short as a mom—this episode will leave you feeling seen and validated.

Links & Resources:

• Listen to Part 2 of the Leah Barnes conversation

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