Welcome back to another episode of Modern Financial Wellness. I’m your host, Jim Grace, and today, we’re exploring an incredibly important, nuanced topic—how grief and loss, particularly widowhood, impact financial well-being. This is a subject that’s both deeply personal and highly relevant to anyone supporting loved ones through life’s most challenging transitions.

Joining me for this powerful conversation is Paula Harris, co-founder of WH Cornerstone Investments. Paula brings a remarkable, holistic approach to financial planning, blending her human resources background, four decades of experience in the industry, and an unwavering commitment to guiding midlife widowed women. Paula describes herself as a “dream architect,” an accomplished cheese maker and yogi, a TEDx speaker, and the author of Rise Up: A Widow’s Journal and Rise Up: Grief Journal. Her practice, deeply rooted in “curveball life planning,” is all about helping clients—especially widows—find financial peace and personal strength after loss.

5 Key Takeaways

1. Grief is a Transition, Not a Transaction
2. Widowhood is not a box to check or a list to complete. It radically alters a person’s life, and society’s urge to “move on” too quickly can be hurtful. Recognize that your client, friend, or family member is fundamentally changed and needs time, space, and support.
3. Meet People Where They Are—Emotionally and Financially
4. Paula emphasizes the importance of tuning into where someone is on their grief journey, whether they’re overwhelmed and can’t face paperwork, or eager to take action to feel in control. There’s no “right” way to grieve—advisors and supporters need to be flexible and compassionate.
5. Immediate Financial Needs Come First (“Financial Triage”)
6. In the initial aftermath of loss, focus on what’s urgent—paying for funerals, accessing cash, stopping predatory sales pitches. Delay major financial decisions when possible and give people time before making permanent changes.
7. Support, Community, and Connection Are Essential
8. Isolation worsens grief. Paula highlights organizations like Modern Widows Club and Wings for Widows that offer connection and resources. Even simple community events, handwritten notes, or encouragement to join widow support groups can have a profound impact.
9. Review and Update Financial Documents and Beneficiaries Quickly
10. Getting estate plans, insurance beneficiaries, and account titles updated is critical after a loss. Outdated or incorrect paperwork can have devastating, irreversible effects. Be proactive and encourage widows (and widowers) to seek trustworthy, fiduciary advice—especially as some financial “professionals” may have hidden agendas.

Resources and Further Reading

• WH Cornerstone Investments – Widow’s Resource Page
• Modern Widows Club
• Wings for Widows (pro bono financial mentorship)
• Rise Up: A Widow’s Journal and Rise Up: Grief Journal by Paula Harris
• TEDx Talk: “Low Tech Love – The Power of the Handwritten Note” by Paula Harris

Financial well-being, especially after loss, isn’t just about having enough money. It’s about creating the freedom, support, and opportunities to rebuild your life—and knowing you’re not alone on that path. I hope these insights and resources help you support your clients, friends, or loved ones with even more compassion and actionable guidance.

If you found this conversation helpful, please share, subscribe, and check out our full archive at modernfinancialwellness.com—and remember to take care of yourself...

Welcome back to Modern Financial Wellness! I’m your host, Jim Grace. In today’s episode, I’m joined by a returning favorite: Dr. Christine Hargrove (she/her). If you’ve listened before, you might remember her as Christine Hargrove during our previous conversation on couples, money, and ADHD. I’m thrilled to welcome her back as Dr. Hargrove, and even more excited that, to this day, her previous appearance is our most-downloaded and most-shared episode ever.

Today, we're tapping into her latest research about a topic that comes up in so many of our households, relationships, and financial lives: division of financial responsibilities between partners and the stress it brings. Specifically, we’re discussing her new study, “Breadwinning and Bean Counting: Exploring Perceived Couple Financial Stress Allocation in a Clinical Sample.” If you live with a partner, you’ll want to hear this.

5 Key Takeaways

1. “Bean Counting” Carries the Heaviest Stress Load. In couples, the partner who manages the day-to-day finances of the “bean counter” typically feels a larger share of the couple’s overall financial stress. Unlike the breadwinner role, which is less associated with this shared stress, the bean counter’s close, constant engagement with the household money leads to a stronger sense of responsibility and, often, anxiety.
2. Perceptions of Financial Stress Matter as Much as Reality. Whether or not the numbers reflect a perfect 50/50 split, financial stress is based largely on what each partner perceives. If the bean counter feels like the split is 70/30 in their direction but the breadwinner thinks it’s 50/50, that disconnect is fertile ground for resentment, poor communication, or conflict.
3. Clarity and Communication Are Essential and Often Missing. Many couples default into roles without ever truly defining them. Sitting down to intentionally name who does what, what each role entails, and what could go wrong if things slip up is a critical first step to ensuring satisfaction and avoiding feelings of being taken for granted.
4. Transparency is a Powerful Antidote to Stress and Resentment. One of the quickest routes to reducing couple financial stress is simple: shared transparency over the numbers, roles, and goals. Many clients immediately feel relief when they can see the whole picture sometimes even before making any “fixes.” Avoid judgment, start with awareness, and let solutions flow from honest data.
5. Gender Roles and Power Dynamics Can Compound Stress Especially for Women. Christine’s research and clinical experience repeatedly show that women who are the primary “bean counters” often feel especially stuck, stressed, and underappreciated, particularly when they don’t have equal power over big decisions. Couples need to acknowledge these dynamics, avoid defaulting into traditional patterns, and have real conversations about fairness, workload, and what everyone actually wants.

Resources Mentioned

• The Love and Money Center at the University of Georgia (outreach, clinical services, and research on couples and money)
• Financial Therapy Association (directory for professionals and resources)
• Ramit Sethi’s “Money for Couples” (practical frameworks for couples with joint, separate, or hybrid finances)
• Monarch Money app, and other budgeting tools for transparency and shared financial visibility

I want to give a big thank you to Dr. Christine Hargrove for sharing her insights, research, and wisdom with us once again. If this conversation resonated with you or you want to learn more, check out modernfinancialwellness.com for resources, links, and info on how to reach Christine and the Love and Money Center.

If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe. Thanks for tuning in and as...

Hello everyone, Jim Grace here, host of Modern Financial Wellness. I’m excited to share the latest episode, which dives deep into the real story behind financial wellness, the power of education, and how changing your money mindset can truly transform lives and workplaces.

In this episode, we go beyond the nuts and bolts of budgeting and saving. Today’s conversation centers on financial literacy as the critical foundation for achieving true financial well-being from breaking out of generational cycles and learning practical strategies, to transforming workplace cultures and empowering underserved communities. The heart of our discussion: how understanding our relationship with money and empowering others to do the same can change trajectories for individuals, families, and businesses alike.

Joining me is Irma Neal, an incredible leader and changemaker. Irma is the founder of Onyx Rising, a change management and financial literacy firm specializing in DEI and leadership development. As a former deputy mayor of Indianapolis and director of human services, plus a certified financial coach and author of “Chaos Insights to Lead through the Storm,” Irma brings decades of wisdom and personal experience to the table. Her own journey from growing up in poverty to becoming a financial educator and advocate truly inspires.

1. Your Money Mindset Starts Early but It Can Change.

Irma’s childhood experiences living in poverty and watching her parents’ approach to credit set early patterns, but her determination and curiosity led her to seek a different path. She began saving her lunch money as a teen and carried those habits throughout her life.

2. Money Conversations Are Relationship Conversations.

Irma and her late husband navigated the classic saver/spender dynamic, highlighting how important it is to talk openly and honestly about money with your partner ideally before tying the knot. Communication, compromise, and transparency are crucial.

3. Employer-Sponsored Financial Education is Life-Changing.

A company-paid session with a certified financial advisor at IBM was a game changer for Irma. That experience built loyalty and gave her the tools to grow true wealth over time, not just save. Employers have a pivotal role here combining benefits with real education can transform lives and improve retention.

4. Mindset Before Mechanics: Changing Financial Trajectories.

Onyx Rising’s programs start by helping participants envision the life they want and break down money myths, especially those reinforced by culture and social media. Tailoring education to where a person is in their journey, rather than a “one size fits all” approach, is critical for real, lasting change.

5. Financial Well-being Equals Freedom and Security.

To Irma, true financial well-being is about freedom to travel, to experience life, and to weather unexpected challenges (like the car that literally crashed into her house!). Preparation allows us not just to survive, but to thrive even through the storms life throws our way.

If you’re an employee, check out the resources your company might already offer and be proactive about using them. Employers, consider integrating financial wellness programming to benefit both your people and your business.

For more from Irma and Onyx Rising, including mindset quizzes and employer guides, head to onyx2rise.com. If you enjoyed our conversation, don’t forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone on their financial wellness journey. Thanks for tuning in. I look forward to seeing you next time!