IT’S CHRIIIIIISTMASSSS!!!!!!

Merry Christmas everyone. We told you there would be another episode today and here it is.

There’s really no more to say. Enjoy!

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Christmas, As Cliff Richard once wisely said, is a time for giving, a time for getting, a time for forgiving and for forgetting.

And I think that says it all, doesn’t it? There’s really nothing else that needs to be said on the matter.

Well, just because it doesn’t NEED to be said isn’t going to stop us from actually saying a whole lot more.

That’s right. We’ve got a bumper, jam packed Christmas episode here. In fact, that’s not strictly true - we had so much festive nonsense to cover we’ve spread it over two episodes. Yes - two! One coming out on Christmas Eve and then another on Christmas Day. So if you want to get away from the kids or the in-laws and have a laugh with your old mates Mark, Neil and Ben then come along and join us.

There’s a shit-ton of call backs from previous episodes, a massive quiz and every Christmas topic you can think of.

So now is the time to crack open that tin of Quality Street, pour yourself a stiff drink, put your feet up and join the lads for some festive cheer.

And let’s not forget that Cliff Richard also once said that he was going to lock a woman up in a trunk so his opinion isn’t always to be trusted. It’s probably right that we took the time to do this after all.

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Hello there. Welcome to another episode of our little podcast. It’s a radio special this time. You remember the radio don’t you? That thing we all used to listen to before the podcast revolution came and upended our worlds.

Now, you might expect a couple of fully signed up members of the liberal, metropolitan elite to wank on about how much we love Radio 4 and 6 Music for the whole show. And, well, if that’s what you thought then you’re largely right. But wait - there is a nod to commercial radio here too so there’s really something for everyone.

Unless, that is, you’re a serious BBC hater in which case you might want to move straight onto Nigel Farage’s latest GB News podcast. Apparently this week he’s asking who is at fault for the chaos at British airports. I’ve not listened to it myself but I’ll eat my hat if he’s not pointing the finger at foreigners. Coming over here, causing queues at our British airports that are supposed to be here for British people. And don’t get him started on the cost of airport parking. Actually, while I’m not a big fan of Farage I do tend agree with him on that one. 6 quid at Bristol airport just to pick someone up. Daylight robbery if you ask me.

Umm, lost my train of thought there. What was I taking about? Oh, yes. The radio podcast, that was it. You know the format by now - we talk, we debate, we laugh, we drink. It’s a hoot - you’ll love it.

And once again Mark and Neil are joined by quiz man Ben (aka Beneral Knowledge) for an epic 5 part quiz. Seriously not to be missed.

What are you waiting for? Press play now!

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Hello and welcome to Mark and Paul’s Opinion Hour. We’re back from our summer hiatus (did you miss us?) and we’re all fired up to deliver another fun packed episode.

This time we’re talking about slang from different times and places. Covering everything from 1920s Chicago right through to the youth talk of today. What a journey of discovery we’ve been on.

Warning - there’s more than a bit of swearing in this one - there’s actually a whole section dedicated to it. You can’t say you weren’t warned because this is us warning you right now.

And of course there’s a quiz but, get this, it’s not a quiz that’s been written by Neil. Wait, what?! Did Mark write it then? Actually no - it’s someone else - someone new. But who could that be?

Just press play and find out you doughnut. 🍩 (that’s an emoji there - is that a kind of slang? Well yeah, we think it is actually).

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Hello there! Welcome to our music festivals special.

Let’s be honest here - at their best festivals can be the most amazing, joyous, life changing experiences. But at their worst, well, they can be pretty hard going, can’t they?

Mark and Neil are a couple of seasoned festival goers with 30 plus festivals over a 20 year period under their collective belts. This week the lads are going to give you the benefit of their experience and will give you some top tips that will not only help you to survive but maybe even to flourish at a festival. We’re talking about food, drink, tents and the eternal question of what footwear to wear. Will it be wellies, trainers or walking boots? Tune in to find out.

They will also give you their fantasy festival line up, talk about some of their favourite sets and some of the more interesting and unusual things they’ve seen over the years.

Oh, and there’s a quiz too. In fact, there are 2 of them.

The boys are taking a summer hiatus now so savour this episode as you won’t be hearing from them for a little while.

Here's a link to a Spotify playlist that has all of Neil's (and a cheeky one from Mark) fantasy line-up tracks: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0fCC29giuIx2BDA9Trgz1j?si=31eebdf068974e62

Ta ta for now.

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This week Mark and Neil turn their attention to the apocalypse. In a step by step guide they will talk you through some serious, practical tips on how to get by if / when society collapses and you are left on your own to survive.

It turns out that against all expectations Mark is actually pretty well prepared and can teach us all a thing or two whereas Neil has not got a clue and is going to be zombie food within a matter of hours.

Along the way you’ll encounter the standard nonsense you’d expect from the lads and there’s even a trip to Lidl and Aldi which was fun for all involved.

And you will find out if they are actually able to pronounce the word ‘apocalypse’ - occasionally they do but for a pair of supposedly intelligent and worldly men, it’s a very disappointing performance. Must do better chaps, must do better!

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Who’s up for a bit of politics?

You? Great, then you’ve come to the right place.

Welcome to our most shocking, horrifying and surprising episode to date.

Mark will shock you with his thoughts about Rishi Sunak, Neil will horrify you with what he wants to do with Speedos and you’ll be surprised at how long we talk about opinion polls without anything even approaching humour (seriously, there’s a solid 30 joke-free minutes in the first half). There’s a chance you could find it mildly interesting though so do stick with it. Or just skip forward to the 40 minute mark for a second half that is chock-a-block full of fun. If you don’t soil yourself laughing then you get your money back.

It really is a podcast of 2 halves.

Along the way we’ll be talking about our fantasy cabinets, political slogans, favourite tories and much, much more.

So, sit back, relax and enjoy yourselves. You’re in for a real treat.

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HANDS, HANDS, SHOW ME YOUR HANDS!!!

Hello, hello, hello, in this episode of Mark and Paul’s Opinion Hour Mark and Neil ( sans Paul again, I’m afraid) will be discussing TV cop shows. We take a meandering walk along our Memory Lane beat, and reminisce about the cop shows of our youth, as well as fingering the difference between UK and US police dramas. In terms of inane opinions, Mark and Neil have got form, and a jacket as long as your arm, so we like each other for this job.

The tape is rolling, our solicitor is present, so it’s time we get our collar felt by the long arm of the law. Now shut it you slags and who sold you the gear?

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