In this Buzzword Breakdown episode, Kristen and Mike tackle one of the most talked-about—and misunderstood—concepts in modern leadership: servant leadership. But here's the twist: Mike admits he actually hates the term. What follows is a candid conversation about why this popular leadership philosophy makes us uncomfortable, why the language we use around leadership matters more than we think, and how some leaders use this term to avoid accountability. The discussion explores the problematic history behind the word "servant," unpacks what it actually means to put your team first without losing yourself in the process, and addresses common myths like confusing servant leadership with being passive. Kristen breaks down the original concept and shares practical ways to practice this approach without the cringe factor, so listeners can learn how to lead with humility and support their teams without becoming a doormat—or worse, a leader who talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk.

Highlights:

• Why Mike finds the term "servant leadership" uncomfortable and how it's misappropriated by leaders who avoid true coaching and accountability
• The problematic etymology of "servant" and its roots in slavery—why leadership language matters
• Robert Greenleaf's 1970 concept: the best leaders measure success by the growth and wellbeing they inspire in others, not by power
• Common myths about servant leadership, including confusing it with being passive or overly self-sacrificing
• Larry Spears' ten characteristics: listening, empathy, healing, awareness, persuasion, conceptualization, foresight, stewardship, commitment to growth, and building community
• How servant leadership differs from transformational leadership (inspiring change) and transactional leadership (exchanges and rewards)
• Key criticisms: risk of burnout, boundary issues, challenges in crisis situations, and performative use without follow-through
• Practical integration: shift from "I fix things" to "I create conditions for others to thrive" and lead with curiosity, not correction
• Mike recommends Colonel David Hackworth's "About Face" as an example of putting your team first under extreme circumstances
• Simple action step: ask your team "What's one thing I can do to make your job easier this week?" and follow through

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Larry C. Spears: “The 10 Characteristics of Servant Leaders”
• About Face by Colonel David Hackworth

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com

After a hiatus, Kristen and Mike return to Love and Leadership with a new tiny co-host in tow. They pull back the curtain on what the past few months have really been like—from an unplanned C-section to navigating the gaps in U.S. parental leave policies. They share what they've learned about partnership under pressure, why their pre-baby work on fighting better has paid off, and how they're managing to show up for each other when sleep is scarce and stress is high. If you've ever wondered what leadership actually looks like when the stakes are personal and the challenges are right in front of you, this conversation offers a real-world test case. Plus, they explain what to expect from the podcast going forward and why there will be more "love" in Love and Leadership from here on out.

Highlights:

• Kristen and Mike share their experience becoming new parents, including Kristen's unplanned C-section at 37 weeks and the challenges of the early postpartum period
• They discuss the broken state of parental leave and maternal support in the United States, including limited time off and a healthcare system that often fails new mothers
• Mike explains what he learned about infant brain development and nervous system regulation, including why the "cry it out" method isn't supported by neuroscience
• The couple opens up about how becoming parents has tested their partnership and why their pre-baby work on communication (including reading Fight Right by the Gottmans) has been essential
• They share practical strategies for managing the transition to parenthood as a team, including not competing over who has it harder and actively supporting each other through rest and childcare
• Kristen highlights the value of mom support groups and community during the postpartum period
• Mike discusses the importance of long-term thinking in business, drawing parallels between supporting families and retaining institutional knowledge in organizations
• They announce the podcast will continue on a biweekly schedule for now, with fewer guest episodes until they establish a more consistent routine with their son

Links & Resources Mentioned:

• Fight Right: How Successful Couples Turn Conflict into Connection by John Gottman and Julie Gottman
• La Vie En Doula (Kristen & Mike’s postpartum night doula)

Podcast Website: www.loveandleadershippod.com
Instagram: @loveleaderpod

Follow us on LinkedIn!
Kristen: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kristenbsharkey/
Mike: https://www.linkedin.com/in/michael-s-364970111/

Learn more about Kristen's leadership coaching and facilitation services: http://www.emboldify.com