The Real Reason Couples Stop Feeling Connected in 2026

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On YouTube @chosentraining (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAEFkimtIowqoyz1_lnF8Rg)

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0:00 - Introduction: Meet Jonathan Van Vegan

1:30 - "I Was Kidnapped at 9" – Jonathan's Traumatic Childhood

4:15 - How He Knew She Was "The One" After Two Dates

6:45 - The Fight That Almost Ended His Marriage

9:30 - Why Trauma Shows Up as Anger in Men

13:00 - Why He Explodes When You Ask Him to Take Out the Trash

18:30 - "Prop Up His Ego" – The Advice That Triggers Women

24:00 - Pain Saturation: Why Couples Stop Feeling Chosen

29:15 - Do Men and Women Fall in Love Differently?

33:45 - Women Want to Be Chosen, Men Want to Be Liked

38:30 - Why Society Trying to "Blend" Us Is a Problem

43:00 - For Women Who Feel They Missed Their Chance at Love

47:30 - Why Love Languages & Attachment Styles Can Hurt Your Marriage

51:00 - The Restaurant Test: Do You Know What She'd Order?

54:30 - What Men Are Too Afraid to Admit They Want

57:15 - The Hallmark of a Healthy Relationship

59:00 - Where to Find Jonathan + Upcoming Book Stop looking through the "Lens of Pain."

In this deep-dive interview, renowned psychotherapist and relationship coach Jonathan Van Viégas (creator of the Chosen and Cherished Method) reveals why even "wonderful" relationships can start to feel like a burden.

We explore the concept of Pain Saturation, the moment life’s external stressors (work, health, trauma) bleed into your partnership, causing you to view your spouse as the enemy rather than your teammate.

Jonathan shares his own vulnerable journey from a traumatic childhood and struggles with anger to building a thriving, emotionally safe marriage.

In this video, you will learn: The "Pain Saturation" Effect: Why couples attribute all their life's pain to their partner. Gendered Needs: Why women crave being "chosen" and why men desperately need to be "cherished" and liked.

The Ego Reframing: How propping up a partner's ego (without becoming their caretaker) creates a bridge to healing. Trauma & Anger: Understanding why men often manifest stress as anger and how to navigate those "identity-level" wounds.

The 2026 Perspective: How to honor the fundamental differences between men and women in a modern, fast-paced world.

Whether you are struggling to communicate or simply want to deepen your intimacy, this conversation provides practical tools to move from "surviving" to "thriving."

In this episode, we dive into an enlightening conversation with Cindy Stibbard, a certified divorce and relationship coach and the founder of Divorce Redefined. Cindy shares her journey of dealing with infidelity, navigating the breakdown of her marriage, and ultimately finding purpose in helping others. The discussion touches on the importance of addressing conflict in relationships, emotional safety, and the value of independence and self-worth. Cindy offers practical advice for both single and married listeners on how to build healthy relationships, whether it involves staying and working through tough times or knowing when to move on.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- (06:20) Deciding Whether to Stay or Go

- (15:09) The Importance of Emotional Safety

- (22:21) Cindy's Personal Marriage Experience

- (39:19) The Two-Year Rule for Relationships

- (43:09) The Dangers of Codependency

- (47:16) The Strength of Being Single

- (54:28) Dealing with Betrayal and Infidelity

RESOURCES

Check out my How to Attract Devoted Masculine Men Masterclass HERE

My FREE eBook The Magnetic Woman

App rec: Bumble

Feminine Embodiment HERE

CONNECT WITH CHARLENE

On Instagram @mscharlenebyars

On YouTube @chosentraining

Work with me HERE

CONNECT WITH CINDY

On Instagram HERE

His Links HERE

In this episode, we dive into an in-depth and heartfelt conversation with bestselling author Amber Rae. The discussion revolves around the importance of brave truth-telling, choosing wonder over worry, and finding alignment in one's life. Amber shares insights from her journey of moving from living a 'good' life to truly feeling free, emphasizing self-honesty and personal alignment. The episode covers her transformative moments, including her previous marriage and how she eventually found deep connection and intimacy in her current relationship. Amber also opens up about her new book 'Lovable' and her life as a mother, while discussing the societal expectations and personal challenges she overcame to live authentically. Her story is a powerful reminder of the importance of honoring oneself and embracing the unknown.

IN THIS EPISODE:

- (05:24) Motherhood and Personal Growth

- (09:43) Self-Honesty and Life Changes

- (26:41) Facing the Truth in a Relationship

- (29:47) Choosing Self-Love and Authenticity

- (34:43) Embracing Vulnerability and True Connection

- (41:14) Living Authentically and Finding True Love

- (45:31) The Journey to Inner Peace and Purpose

RESOURCES

Check out my How to Attract Devoted Masculine Men Masterclass HERE

My FREE eBook The Magnetic Woman

App rec: Bumble

Feminine Embodiment HERE

CONNECT WITH CHARLENE

On Instagram @mscharlenebyars

On YouTube @chosentraining

Work with me HERE

CONNECT WITH AMBER

On Instagram HERE

His Links HERE