Love, Loss and Dignity: Rethinking Dementia Support

When dementia takes away memories, what happens to identity—especially if the world never truly recognised it in the first place? In this powerful episode of the Able to Care Podcast, host Andy Baker speaks with Neil Cutler, advocate, presenter, and trustee at Dementia Forward. Drawing on his personal journey of caring for his late husband who lived with dementia, Neil shares candid insights into how dementia uniquely impacts older LGBT people. From navigating prejudice in care settings to the fight for inclusive dementia training, this is an unmissable conversation about love, loss, dignity, and the urgent need for change in health and social care.

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🔗 Resources & Links Mentioned

• Dementia Forward – Neil’s organisation supporting people living with dementia across communities.

• Targeting the Positive with Behaviours That Challenge

🧠 Three Key Messages

1. Identity matters in dementia care – recognising and respecting who someone is can be as important as supporting what they can do.

2. Language shapes inclusion – words like “placement” or “contact” can feel clinical; replacing them with “home” and “family time” fosters dignity.

3. Training is essential – mandatory LGBT dementia awareness training can transform care home culture and ensure no one is forgotten.

⏱️ Chapter Timestamps

• 00:00 – Introduction: Dementia, memory, and identity

• 02:00 – Neil’s story: Love, care, and losing his husband to dementia

• 10:00 – How dementia impacts LGBT identity in care homes

• 16:00 – Person-centred care vs. identity never recognised

• 21:00 – Why inclusive training matters

• 25:00 – Activities, community, and belonging in care homes

• 34:00 – Family, friends, and chosen support networks

• 38:00 – Turning grief into purpose: Neil’s advocacy and training work

• 46:00 – Hopes for the future of inclusive dementia care

🎯 Why Listen to This Episode? This episode goes beyond dementia—it’s about dignity, belonging, and creating care systems that truly see people for who they are. Whether you’re a parent, teacher, carer, or health professional, Neil’s story will inspire you to think differently about inclusion, compassion, and how we respond to the most vulnerable in our communities.

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