In this episode of Always Andy's Mom, I sit down with Leanne, Mikael's mom, for an honest and heartfelt conversation about grief, faith, and life after losing a child to addiction.

At the center of this episode is a powerful shift in perspective. After her son's death, Leanne struggled with the words "give thanks in all circumstances." But when reading the words more carefully, she noticed a subtle difference that shifted her understanding. She began to see the difference between being thankful for her circumstances and being thankful in them.

Leanne shares her experience loving her son through addiction, the heartbreak of loss, and the reality of grieving a child. She speaks about the tension between faith and pain, and how grief becomes something that stays, rather than something to overcome.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Child loss and grief after addiction and overdose

• The meaning of "thankful in, not for"

• Grief as an ongoing presence in daily life

• Faith, anger, and healing after loss

• Writing and poetry as tools for processing grief

Leanne also shares about her new book, Tattered Hearts and Hopeful Souls, a collection of devotional reflections and poetry that explores grief, faith, and healing. Her writing offers comfort and language for bereaved parents navigating life after loss.

This episode is a reminder that grief does not disappear. But over time, we can learn how to carry it. And even in the hardest circumstances, there can still be moments of meaning, connection, and quiet gratitude.

In this episode of Always Andy's Mom, Marcy speaks with Jean and Shelly about the loss of their daughter, Chantal, and the grief journey that followed after losing a child to cancer.

Jean remembers the exact moment everything changed: 8:15, the time Chantal died. That moment became the dividing line between the life they once knew and the life that followed.

Together they share the long and difficult experience of Chantal's cancer diagnosis, the exhausting treatments that followed, and the heartbreak of losing a child. They also talk about how grief continued to unfold in the years afterward and how healing slowly takes shape over time.

Jean reflects on something many parents feel deeply after the death of a child — the instinct to fix things and protect the people they love. His book, Dads Can't Fix Everything, grew out of that realization and explores the helplessness many fathers feel when faced with a loss that cannot be repaired.

Music has always been an important part of Jean and Shelly's lives together. After Chantal's death, that part of their world felt quiet for a time, but eventually music began to return, offering another way to carry love and memory forward.

Shelly also shares a moment that surprised her. Around the five-year mark in her grief journey, she realized that life felt recognizable again. It wasn't the life they once had, and grief was still present, but she began to feel like herself again.

In this conversation they discuss:
• losing a child to cancer
• how grief evolves over time
• the different ways parents process loss
• music and writing as ways of expressing grief
• and the ways families continue honoring the child who died

Nearly two decades later, Chantal is still remembered in simple but meaningful ways. Each year friends and family gather on her birthday for pizza and Caesars — her favorite — raising a glass and remembering the girl who continues to shape their lives.

This episode is a powerful reflection on grief, love, and learning to live with what cannot be fixed.

After six and a half years and more than 300 episodes, I took a month away from the podcast to rest, spend time with my family, and tend to my own heart.

When it felt right to return, there was only one person I wanted to talk with.

Stephanie — Keyan's mom — was the very first bereaved mother I ever interviewed when this podcast began. Even before that, she was someone I met in a grief support group just weeks after Andy died. She was further down the road of child loss than I was, and I remember quietly watching her, wondering how she was still standing. Somewhere in that watching was a small hope: If she can do this, maybe I can too.

Now, eight and a half years into her grief journey, Stephanie shares honestly about what life looks like today.

She talks about the days that still knock her off her feet, the complicated guilt that can come with laughing or enjoying time with her living children, and how grief doesn't disappear—it changes shape.

For five years, Stephanie poured herself into serving other grieving families at Starlight Ministries. It was good work. Holy work. But somewhere along the way, the work that once helped her heal began to crowd out her own healing. As her therapist told her, "Anything you give energy to takes away from your healing energy."

So she stepped away.

We talk about what it means to reassess. To recognize when something that once brought relief no longer does. To admit that even good, sacred things can become too much.

Together we talk about:

• what it means to be years into grief and still hurting
• the tension of holding joy and sorrow at the same time
• the freedom of allowing grief to change as the years pass
• the difference between being healed and being cured

This episode is about scars, seasons, and the quiet courage it takes to keep learning your grief as it changes.

If you are years into loss and wondering why it still hurts sometimes… you are not alone.