Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom Por arte de portada

Losing a Child: Always Andy's Mom

De: Marcy Larson MD
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  • Resumen

  • When pediatrician mom of three, Marcy Larson's 14 yo son, Andy, was killed in a car accident in 2018, she felt like her life was over. In many ways, that life was over, and a new one forced to begin in its place. Come alongside her as she works through this journey of healing. She discusses grief and child loss with other grieving parents and those who work to help them in their grief. This podcast is for grieving parents as well as those who support them.
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Episodios
  • Episode 248: The Work of Grief

    Episode 248: The Work of Grief
    Jun 13 2024

    When listener, Carolyn, sent us a list of topics that she thought would be great for our Livestream chats, several stood out to us as great ideas. The first one we decided to tackle concerned the Work of Grief and even more specifically having an annual grief plan in place. To be honest, the idea of a grief plan both intrigued me and gave me anxiety. I feared that if I found myself unable to follow the plan, I would feel like I had failed and I worried that I would feel worse instead of better.

    After Carolyn listened Monday night, she wrote back to me giving me even more to think about. Carolyn wrote, 'My Annual Grief Plan is a dynamic document. I set goals and adjust them along the way. It changes every year. I don't feel like a failure because grief is unpredictable. I helps me to continue to move forward with love for Jimmy.' She went on to write that she had worked on her grief plan recently. Her plan has four categories: Grief, Spiritual, Health and Friends. One of her goals for this year was to start a memorial garden (see picture on website). Other goals included changes in her diet and acknowledging changes in friendships.

    Listening to the podcast again and reading that email got me to think about my own grief plans. I wonder if writing them down in this way would help me achieve more in my grief so I am deciding to give it a try.

    1. Grief - Co-host my first grief retreat. Explore what future retreats might look like.
    2. Spiritual - Increase my trust in God by being more intentional with prayer.
    3. Health - Improve diet and exercise daily.
    4. Friends - Go out socially with friends at least once per month.

    Well, there it is for the world to see. My current annual plan. Its not complicated, but hopefully having specific goals will help my focus. A few months from now, I will be able to look back and see where I am, knowing that my plan too, is a dynamic document. As I revisit the plan in 2025, it will almost certainly change, but not because I have failed in some way. It will change because my grief will change and as my grief changes, I will as well. Thank you, Carolyn, for your inspiration.
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    1 h y 5 m
  • Episode 247: TJ's Mom

    Episode 247: TJ's Mom
    Jun 6 2024
    When grieving mom, Olga, is feeling down and defeated, she will watch a video that her late son, TJ, asked to make while she was working on a project herself. In the video, TJ says, 'We are dedicated and motivated. We do not give up. Even if we are sad, we do not give up. Never.' At the time, TJ was a happy, healthy young 5-year-old boy. He was a joy and a light to all around him. Olga had no idea that he would tragically die just a year later when he drowned at summer camp. As TJ's family mourned TJ, they were struck by the fact that his death was so preventable. TJ's parents did not want another family to suffer this tragedy so they started a foundation just 4 months after TJ's death. TJ's Story has two primary goals. The first goal is to work with legislators in the state of Missouri to enact legislation to improve safety at summer camps. Many camps had policies that recommended a certain number of lifeguards to be present for children to swim. In fact, the camp that TJ attended had such a policy, but when a lifeguard called in sick that day, they went ahead with swimming anyway. TJ's parents hope that if this policy was instead a state law, camps would be more likely to cancel swimming instead of breaking the law. The second goal of TJ's story is to help provide free swim lessons to young children. They currently have an amazing partnership with Goldfish Swim School to help provide lessons. They have amazing fundraisers where they have been able to raise thousands of dollars. Certainly, over these weeks and months following TJ's death, Olga has had periods when she feels like giving up, but TJ's words always come back to her. 'Even if we are sad, we do not give up. Never.' His bright smile and friendly manner will never be forgotten. Olga says that TJ came in like a firecracker and went out like a rainbow, but it seems to me that through TJ's Story, the light of the rainbow is going to keep on shining. Although Olga and her family only had six short years of memories with TJ, their hard work will make it so countless other children will live to be able to create far more memories of their own.
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    55 m
  • Episode 246: Ben's Mom

    Episode 246: Ben's Mom
    May 30 2024
    When I am suddenly stuck in traffic on a busy freeway, feelings of panic quickly build inside me. My heart starts beating faster. My hands begin to feel sweaty. It can feel difficult to breathe. As I tightly grip the steering wheel, visions of another car accident come into my mind. I say to myself over and over, 'I can't do this. I can't do this.' Today's guest, Jamie, may have a solution to the struggles I and many other traumatized people have. The beautiful thing is that it is something that you can learn to do to help yourself. Jamie first learned about EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) tapping when her college-aged son, Ben, was struggling with anxiety and schizophrenia. She was tapping on parts of her body and saying the following phrase - I love and accept myself just as I am. She soon found herself weeping. Jamie realized that as much as she thought it was a good idea to love and accept herself, she did not actually truly feel that way at her core. After Ben died by suicide, Jamie was understandably crushed. She said her mind was filled with 'what if's' and 'I wish I had's.' (What if we had gone to another doctor? I should have done more to help.) Jamie soon realized she needed to let go of those thoughts. The solution came through EFT tapping. As she was tapping, she would say positive statements to herself. I am OK. I love and accept myself just as I am. This time, however, she believed it. She could love and accept herself and let go of the negative thoughts. Instead of having the devastation of Ben's death consume her, Jamie decided that Ben's death would be fuel for her to move forward. Despite Ben's death, she was determined to bring just a little bit of beauty into the world. In her mind, the best way she could do this was to become an EFT tapping practitioner. Through her website, tapforhappiness.com, she helps teach people to use tapping in their own trauma and grief. As for me, I hope that someday soon, when driving in traffic, I will be able to replace my words of 'I can't do this' with 'I am OK.' Hopefully, I will even believe the words when I say them.
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    59 m
Psicología Hygiene & Healthy Living Espiritualidad
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Footprints in the Sand

I loved the vulnerability. Thank you for sharing your darkest moments with us. We will all see our loved ones again.

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