Let's Chat... Where does the love go when someone dies (with David Kelly)

#131. Let's chat... about where the love goes when someone dies. Can you still be 'in love' if it's not reciprocated? Does it eventually fade? Or die?

Welcome to another Let’s Chat episode, where instead of continuing our 101 Types of Loss list, I (Claire Sandys) sit down with guests who have expertise and personal insight into different aspects of loss.

In this episode, I have the pleasure of talking with David Kelly from Hertfordshire, who works as a Community Engagement Coordinator at Rennie Grove Peace Hospice Care.

David reached out after a previous conversation Chris & I had on the podcast about love and grief. We’d asked: Where does the love go when someone dies? David offered such a thoughtful response on an Instagram message that I invited him on the podcast to explore it further.

David shares from both personal experience - having lost his wife, Beverly, to cancer - and his deep understanding of grief models. Together, we unpack questions around love after loss: Does it stay the same? Can it fade? What does it mean to continue loving someone who’s gone? How does it work when we find new love? Can you love two people with all your heart?

This is a thoughtful, moving conversation about grief, love, and how we try to make sense of both.

Links from David for more information on what he shared:

Dual Process Model: https://whatsyourgrief.com/dual-process-model-of-grief/
Tonkin’s ‘Grow Around Grief’ Model: https://whatsyourgrief.com/growing-around-grief/
Continuing Bonds Theory: https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-concept-care-continuing-bonds/
Grieving Beyond Gender: Understanding diverse grieving styles by Kenneth Doka & Terry Martin - https://amzn.eu/d/et82Zgh
Grief and gender: https://whatsyourgrief.com/grief-and-gender-a-preamble/

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