In this episode, I sit down with my homie Devan Rajkumar, known publicly as Chef Dev.

We dialogue on topics you may have never seen from Dev. The angle we take it was both deepening and illuminating.

https://www.instagram.com/chefdevan

https://www.youtube.com/@chefdevanofficial

https://www.chefdev.ca/

https://www.facebook.com/DevanRajkumar/

https://www.tiktok.com/@chefdevan

2:30 - reality: Serious vs playful, devan deconstructed

3:50 - what is ping pong for you?

5:20 - devan doesn’t lose

6:15: focus in vulnerability *

7:25 - why do people excel

8:25 - oscillation between the fear of failure

10:25 - get into space of liberation through unconditional witnessing

11:30 - instinct would have been to dismiss what invitations were brought forward

12:05 - excelling due to insecurity

13:00 - 13:50 - deep dives, can sometimes be unsolicited

14:15 - who the fuck am I? **

15:30 - the edge that they hope to nurture. Seen by who on superiority and existentially?

17:30 - parents and mediators

18:30 - consistency in being authentic. Mask for a long time. ** open to dad hearing. to 19:15

19:35 - responsibility vs obligation

20:00 - longing for connection. The story doesn’t matter

21:40 - opportunity for parents

In this solo episode, I explore the experience of a patient who chose to leave against medical advice in a really rough state and it contrasted the story of death that someone the same age who was my close friend went through.

Thank you for tuning in. More layered stories to come.

My guest on this episode is my dear friend Gina. The show notes are shared below. This conversation touched on deeply important subjects I wish the world would reflect upon! I know I needed it.Gina's love for life and commitment to being in service of others while dancing, singing & playing all the way through.connect with her: instagram.com/ginadaringgreatlyShow notes:3:25 - Origins of connection5:05 - points of transformation - 6:15 - remembered for 7:057:30 - affirming groups - 9:05 9:05 - connection to community, connection to self 10:10 - transform challenge to triumph. Inauthenticity & ego, with humility to name it herself. 12:1012:40 - something happens when Im not listening to the PINGS 13:5514:00 - screams of the accident - 15:5516:00 - people pleasing - no need to show up in the right groups’ - mirror of authenticity & trust - 18:3018:30 - conditional worth - seen in ER 19:55 what does reclaimed unconditional love look and feel like? - 21:15 - the polarization of the ‘people pleaser ‘ ** 23:15 - wounding patterns - until it’s reclaimed - look at those patterns, there’s a little child inside of you. Reclaiming connection with that inner child.25:20 - self love is loving all of your shadows - 26:1026:20 - heroine’s journey - 27:27:30 - **shit** - 29:10 - rock bottom - the end of coping29:50 - relational rock bottom, medicine space, at the core of emotions, shame, and there, too is love. 33:45 - grieving few who have the opportunity to put the guards down. 34:30 - addressing the inner critic36:00 - unconditional witnessing 36:40, profundity, get to work the next day! a reconnection of the highest order 37:2037:25 - integration of transformation 39:30 - life is the ceremony, integration can take a lifetime. 41:3042:30 - psychedelics used to recharge ego when unintegrated 43:10 44:00 the renaissance of perception 45:10 45:20 - new states of habituality45:45 - callous renters during AirBNB, property wake up call.46:50 - window into new ways of thinking and behavingThe autobiography *** 48:3049:50 - child autobiography 51:00 the victory human life 53:15 -Gina dance and play54:10 - play, pleasure, reclamation55:45 - disempower living56:30 - the illusory beliefWhen we are in play, we can Yang better. Yin fuels yang. Need balance. 59:00 children losing play, becoming adults1:00:00 Canadian men’s soccer team1:01:20 - invitation to play - 1:05:001:05:20 - availability to intimacy 1:08:101:08:00 male patriarchy 1:11:30 safe to merge and express needs in order to heal 1:13:001:13:00 sex is a psychedelic1:14:00 sex as a drug1:15:00 the phone and how it robs immersion1:16:20 the intention1:17:15 sex as a coping mechanism 1:18:30 sex as a distraction 1:19:00 - long term relationship so enmeshed1:19:30 emotional rupture, emotional safety, emotional repair. 1:22:30 emotional repair1:22:50 - therapy Get clear on my burdens and intimacy on every moment 1:25:521:25:55 - pleasure in yourself, distractions,,enrich life1:26:40 - end of life play will ensue, love will ensue, connection1:28:25 - we can have it all with layered prescriptions 1:29:30 - whole, perfect and complete shit1:30:15 - cacophony and tangential, delayed reward1:31:40 - outro*This episode was recorded in March of 2023. Technical issues brought on a delay that have finally been resolved*